Human Stuff
by CurbItKirby
Summary: When Rumpelstiltskin plays Ursula to a bored mermaid, Jefferson finds himself with a new partner in crime; a.k.a how Jefferson met his wife. Jefferson/OFC. Minor AU. T for smut, swearing and specieism. Rating subject to change.
1. Chapter 1

Arista was bored.

Incredibly, devastatingly bored.

The sun had warmed the waters, but despite the lovely weather, there was no one in sight. Most of her people tended to avoid the Lagoon; too many Wild Ones about, too many pirates and too many of those pesky Lost Boys for the typical merperson's liking. Most fun things were. Despite their playful reputation, most of those who dwelled in the sea were terribly resigned. Personally, she blamed the King's overprotective nature and love of the differential.

Stretching her arms above her head, the young female sighed to herself. Her tail curled, fanning out and glittering like nacre in the bright sunshine. The only sound came from the rushing waterfall a few feet away, calming her as she restlessly rolled her fin. Well, it _should_ have been calming her, but heavy matters weighed on her mind- not to mention the starfish she wore over her breasts were growing restless and beginning to pinch at her skin. The tiny creatures were dry and irritated as their mistress lounged about. Arista hardly noticed. Her mind had wandered back to her family, a subject that was becoming rather touchy as of late.

Her sisters had been growing distant lately. They had lost all interest in teasing the pirates or treasure hunting, in searching out the coves and in the human's strange frequencies they called music. Instead they were looking for things like romance and consorts. To Arista, it was very disconcerting to see. In her older sisters, she understood; they had titles and the family reputation to uphold. In the younger girls, it was almost sad to see them losing themselves to politics so soon.

Her gaze followed a crab as it scuttled across the rock she was laying on. She recognized it as one of her father's many spies. A scowl replaced her placid expression. With a flick of her tail, she sent it flying over her head. It snipped at her fin with vengeance, tiny pinchers slashing frantically at the air as it went sailing into the clear waters of the Lagoon.

A pitchy cackle cut through the air. "My, my, you certainly have a way with the sea fairing creatures, don't you, dearie?"

The mermaid's eyes rolled over to the eccentric man on the shore. She hadn't seen him before. Interested peaked, Arista sat up. He wasn't one of the pirates that frequented the shore and was much too old to be a Lost Boy. Merchants typically didn't stray so far into the forest, much less dare to venture so deep that they came across the Lagoon.

She tilted her head at him. Her long hair, curly and blonde, fell from her breasts and the dual starfish she had been using, more as accessories than actual covering, attempted to crawl away. Modesty was of no importance to her, nor any other mermaid when it came to the strange useless lumps of blubber on their chests, but that didn't mean the female appreciated their insolence. With a scowl, she dropped them gently into the water. Two more quickly slithered toward her hand, eager to please her any way they could. With two of the creatures' kin firmly in place, Arista looked back at the human.

The man didn't seem to care about her modesty either. His gaze remained trained on her face, although it did slip curiously down to the long azure tail that sparkled in the sun. He was strangely dressed, even for a pirate, in a long coat with strange armour-like vest over top. His skin was an odd coloring, the green reminding her vaguely of her youngest sister's fin and the strange markings on it reminding her of her own scales. Her first instinct should have been to flee, as her father had taught her, but seeing as he was alone and seemingly rather small, she merely arched a brow at him. Slipping into the water, the mermaid approached cautiously. Her limbs were lithe and agile and it only took a moment for her to reach another rock, this one considerably closer to the shore.

Peering around it curiously, she watched as he sauntered around the edge of the water. He twiddled his fingers at her in a flamboyant manner. "Catfish got your tongue?"

Her gaze drifted to his legs. He was rocking on his feet, from the back to the front in an absent intriguing manner that she supposed was natural to him. His feet were pointed and strange looking, darker than the rest of him, but that was apparently quite common among humans, at least from what she had seen from pirates.

Eying them curiously, she tilted her head as flicked her brown eyes up to his face. "You're not from around here, are you?"

"Now, what gave me away?"

"You're willingly conversing with a mermaid," Arista told him with a shrug. Her bare shoulders eased out of the water, letting the thin scales that stretched over her collar bones catch the light before they fell back under the surface. "Not many men are brave enough."

"Ah, yes, who would dare fraternize with the man eating sirens of the deep?" He giggled and pointed a clawed finger at her. "I've heard all the stories. Tell me, is it true your songs can lure sailors to their deaths?"

"A common misconception," The female admitted, she swished her tail, pleased to be speaking with someone new. _Anyone_ new. "Typically the men get distracted by our appearance and crash themselves. No idea why though."

He pressed a finger to his cheek. "Oh, I can think of _two_ reasons."

Her brows flicked upwards, along the thin line of scales that framed her eyes as an eager smile crossed her lips. Shuffling up on the rock, she leaned toward him, her pale claws digging into the stone in her haste. "You can? What are they?"

He waved a hand as if swatting the idea away. "Never mind that now, dearie. Tell me, how would you like to get out of this pond?"

"I don't suppose you have a net?" Arista asked with a wry smirk. Azure scales, the same shade as her tail, glittered around her dark eyes as she rolled onto her back. The ones between her shoulder blades scratched against the stone, tickling her. Her head hung off the edge in a childish fashion that earned an amused smirk from the strange man at the shoreline. The mermaid didn't notice. Putting her hands behind her head, she flicked her fin into the air, showing it off to him. "I'm afraid I'm not made for the mainland, traveller."

"Well, if you're interested, we could make a deal…" A grin stretched across his face, his teeth crooked and off colored, but she hardly noticed. She was too enrapt in his words to suspect anything sinister as he carried on nonchalantly, "And I could get you out of there."

Arista regarded him silently a moment. Her head was still hanging off the edge of the rock; her long blonde hair flowed over the edge of it and a few more starfish secured themselves to the loose strands. Her lips pursed with annoyance as a smaller one crawled across her face and settled on the pale scales of her collarbone. With a gentle finger, the maiden stroked its tiny arms as she considered the man's words. Finally, she asked, "How?"

"I give you legs, you provide me with, shall we say, _assistance_. What do you say? Do we have a deal?"

Her brown eyes blinked curiously at him. "What kind of assistance?"

"I find myself in need of a strong swimmer… and who better than a mermaid?" The little man bent his fingers in a quick erratic manner that distracted her from his words a moment, but _only_ a moment. Her eyes narrowed a touch as he went on, "A skilled swimmer should have no trouble gathering what I need and I need a lot. If you agree to be my own personal salvager, to come when I call without question, I'll give you not only legs, but the ability to use them at your own discretion… And gainful employment, which really is much more fulfilling."

The young maiden hesitated. "If I go with you…I'll never see my father or sisters again…"

"Hm, well, life's full of tough choices, isn't it?" He teased nastily. "So, you get your legs and I get my own personal treasure hunter? What do you say? Hm? Time really is of the essence, dearie, and I haven't got all day."

"I don't know…"

"Think of it! You'll have adventure! All the freedom you could ever want, with no, uh," He toed the crab she had sent flying minutes prior with a pointed foot as it scuttle across the sand in front of him. "_Unwanted attention_."

Resentment boiled in her blood and without second thought to the consequences, Arista nodded. "Deal!"

"Wonderful!" He crowed before coaxing her forward with a crook of his finger. "Come closer, dearie, let's get a look at you."

Without a second thought as to who the stranger may be, or the implications of her deal, Arista did as she was told. She eased onto the shore, the grains of sand irritating the delicate scales of her hands and tail as she peered up at him. The trust was visible on her face and the man almost seemed to hesitate a moment. It passed quickly and he offered her his hand.

The mermaid shook it and a scream bubbled out of her throat.

The blue across her face and collar drained into the same pale shade as the skin under the thin layer of opal surface scales all over her body. They shifted and fell to blend with the azure scales of her tail as they broke away from her skin. Her gills were ripped from her throat, hanging around her collar and melding with what was left of her torn scales. They twisted and stretched, hanging off her like an immodest dress that was just long enough to cover her new sex from the strange man's gaze. The starfish fell, dead, across her lap and onto the beach beside her. The moment of fiery pain faded quickly and she looked down at the strange covering with dazed curiosity.

When her gaze rose to his, he merely shrugged. "Well. Every pretty girl needs a pretty dress."

Arista looked back at her new legs. She went to touch them and realized her hands had lost their scales as well, her fingers no longer webbed or clawed. She flexed them experimentally before looking back at the long, ashy appendages that poked out from her torso. Running her hand down one of her thighs, she marvelled at the texture of the skin, so foreign and smooth compared to her tail. She wiggled her toes and rolled her ankles and felt a happiness bloom in her chest. She could go anywhere she liked now. She was free. She never had to go back to the ocean again. A squeak of excitement left her as the strange man offered his hand once more. Arista took it without a second thought.

He eased her to her new feet, not commenting as her ankles seemed to stutter under her weight. When she finally grasped the concept of standing, he grinned at her and stepped back. "I take it they're up to your, uh, _standards_ than?"

"They're lovely!" The woman threw her arms around him. Ignoring how he stiffened and how quick he was to push her away, she gushed, "Oh thank you! This is the nicest thing that's ever happened, Mr… Mr…?"

"Rumplestiltskin, at your service, my dear." The strange man gave her a flamboyant bow. "And what shall I call you?"

She teetered a moment before returning the action. It was a bit more awkward, mostly because she was still have some trouble standing and her new dress left one of her breasts completely exposed, but neither of them paid that any mind. "Arista."

"Arista," He repeated with a hint of fondness, or perhaps condescension, in his tone. "Well, are you up for your first task?"

"But I can't swim without my tail…"

"Of course! You think I would do my newest employee such a slight?" Rumplestiltskin moved behind her.

He gave the seams on bottom of her dress a yank downward. It fell to cover her legs. The same rush of pain filled her and Arista found herself once again laid out on the beach, staring at a tail forked with two fins where her legs had once been. When she peered up at him questioningly, he pointed to the small groove on her stomach where the blue scales met the shiny pale ones.

"Do you see the seam?"

She nodded, still a bit dazed and a bit sore, but not overwhelmingly so.

"If you want your legs back, all you have to do is pull it up! Then _poof!_ You're back to human! Want to be a mermaid again? All you have to do is push it down!" He crouched down to her level. One knee deep in the sand, he tipped her chin up for her to meet his gaze with a clawed finger. "You should be thanking me, dearie. I'm not usually so giving with my deals."

"Thank you, sincerely, Mr. Rumplestiltskin." Arista gave the seam a pull and winced as her scales fell away. With a deep breath, she shook the pain away and looked up at him, "What can I get for you today, sir?"

Rumplestiltskin beamed at her.

**A/N: I always thought Rumple would've made a much better Ursula than Regina. Anyway, if you can't tell, this story is heavily AU when it comes to mermaids; in both their appearance and abilities. **


	2. Chapter 2

Jefferson, to say the least, was woefully unimpressed with the situation Rumplestiltskin presented. He stared at his employer for a few moments longer than necessary, simply to be dramatic, and finally shook his head. Arms crossed over his chest and leaning casually against a desk covered in magical devices, he told him, "No, I don't think so."

"Well, I do."

"Well, I _don't._ I especially _don't_ work with others, much less novices." The Hatter adjusted the high collar of his black jacket. His blue eyes were rimmed with dark liner, his lips pursed and his brow tight as he continued, "If you need something from Neverland, I'd be happy to get it for you…_alone_, that is."

Rumplestiltskin arched a brow and he tapped his chin curiously, clearly relishing in the taller man's annoyance. "Can you breathe thirty miles below the surface?"

Jefferson clenched his jaw but admitted that he couldn't.

A crooked grin wormed its way over Rumplestiltskin face as he continued, "And can you locate what I acquire in pitch darkness?"

"Well, that depends on what it is." The younger man smirked at him and set his hat on the desk with unneeded flourish. His expression smug and a touch insolent, he perked his brows up as his boss responded.

"Blood stones, from the Sea Goddess' lair." Rumplestiltskin moved to the desk behind him, plucking up a vial and a small bag of nettles.

"Blood stones?" Jefferson frowned. As he spun on his heel to face his employer, and perhaps begrudging friend, he tilted his head. Puzzled, he asked, "What do you need those for?"

The Dark One gestured to his chest with the same hand that was holding the small bag. "My business."

Unsurprised, but not very pleased with the man's answer, Jefferson rolled his eyes. He fiddled absently with his hat, his hip resting on the desk as Rumplestiltskin continued to prepare something no doubt nefarious. The faint sound of a door slamming could be heard, followed by quick, noisy footsteps and the pair glanced at one another.

"There's our little _novice_ now," The older imp told the Hatter with a smirk.

The door to the library swung open and in strolled a young woman, completely drenched from head to toe. Despite the water that fell onto the lavish carpet and how her blonde hair clung to her cheeks, her expression was bright as she ran toward them. Ignoring the unfamiliar man, she set the bag on the desk for her boss to see. Whatever was in it was clearly angry, the bag squirming and thrashing about as near silent growls filled the air.

Jefferson took a step back from it. "Do I even want to know?"

"It's a water sprite!" The woman told him excitedly, bouncing on her toes as her employer stepped forward.

Rumplestiltskin went to open it, but a tan hand stopped him with a gentle touch. He looked curiously at Arista's face and was met with pleading brown eyes. Arching a brow, he asked, "Yes?"

"Don't forget, you said you wouldn't hurt him," The young maiden reminded him.

"I won't."

Her expression remained serious. She pointed a firm finger at him as she continued, "And that you'll let him go when you're done."

"I will." He nodded, albeit slightly impatiently.

"Very well then!" Arista chirped. She stepped back from the table, letting her boss open the sack. Her attention flickered over to Jefferson, taking in his strange coverings and wild hair. Curious and eager, the young maiden leaned toward her employer, she whispered, "Is that him?"

"I'm right here," The Hatter reminded her from a mere two feet away. "I can hear you."

"Oh. My apologies." The blonde bent her knees sheepishly in a quick apologetic way that did little to endear her expertise to the Hatter. It was a habit she had picked up from Rumplestiltskin, as were many of her mannerisms. Brown eyes wide and eager, she played with her fingertips. Approaching him cautiously, she asked, "Are you him?"

"Maybe. Jefferson's the name." He bowed to her, a smirk on his lips as he dragged his gaze over her form.

Arista mimicked his bow, holding a fist over her chest in a similar manner. Her body was lithe and wet. The white tunic she wore translucent and baring an indecent amount of the deeply tanned skin underneath; her dusky pink nipple proudly on display in the chill air and a sight the Hatter very much appreciated. Her other breast was covered by an odd dress made of a shiny scaled pelt from an animal he had never seen before, but the other was practically naked to his indecent gaze. Just under it was a thick strip of brown leather; she was wearing some type of corset over her odd dress and slacks. A quick glance at her feet confirmed them as bare.

Jefferson's eyes dragged up to hers and he offered her a playful wink. "Love the dress."

"Oh!" She hadn't noticed the lewd glint in his gaze, but had noticed how long it had lingered on her breasts. Most men seemed to have some fascination with the globs of fat; something the mermaid didn't totally understand herself. She held the bottom of it out as if it were a longer skirt and twirled, showing it off to him. "Thank you! Mr. Rumplestiltskin gave it to me."

Jefferson's brows perked up with amusement and he looked back at his employer. "Did he now?"

The man didn't acknowledge him. The sack was open now and a small reptilian creature was in his clutches. It was struggling, snapping at the air with needle-like teeth and clawing at his hand with minuscule talons as Rumplestiltskin maneuvered its tiny face against the vial. It chomped down and thin trickles of blue venom poured into the glass. The Dark One smirked and tapped the fin along the top of the creature's head.

At the noise, Arista turned her attention back to the desk and the waylaid sprite. She returned to the Dark One's side at it's squeaks of distress. The woman peered down at the critter. It's pink, glittery scales familiar to her in a way that almost made her nostalgic for the sea. Speaking gently, she murmured to it, "Calm down, he's almost done."

The creature looked affronted, its beady black eyes narrowing on the woman as he continued to bite at the vial's edge. When her finger replaced Rumplestiltskin's, it relaxed and gripped the sides of the glass, clearly displeased and a bit huffy about the entire situation. She cooed down at it, taking the vial from her boss and moving to sit in the plush chair behind the desk.

Jefferson let out a huff as she kicked her bare feet up on the table. Gesturing at her in an unimpressed manner, he asked, "You're the one who wants to go to Neverland?"

"Wants to? _No_." She shook her head and continued to milk the venom from the water sprite. Still thumbing the spindly dorsal fin on its head, Arista corrected, "Obligated to? _Yes_."

"See?!" The younger man jabbed an over-dramatic finger in her direction. "She doesn't even want to go!"

"Of course she doesn't, nobody _wants_ to go to Neverland," Rumplestiltskin told him, pointedly ignoring his newest assistant's somewhat disagreeing hum. He moved away from the desk to pluck a book off the shelf on the other side of the room. "She knows the waters best, isn't that right, Arista?"

"It's true," The blonde told Jefferson with a hint of pride. "You won't find a better guide than I, Mr. Jefferson."

"Just Jefferson." The Hatter pursed his lips. His gaze flickered down to her bare, dirty feet before returning to her face.

She inclined her head as though she hadn't noticed. "Very well, _Jefferson_."

Rumplestiltskin let out a pleased exclamation and sauntered back over to the desk. He gave the maiden's feet a swat with his book. "Manners, Arista."

The mermaid quickly tucked them under herself and leaned forward as her employer set the large tomb in front of her. With his sickly finger tapping a depiction on the page, he explained, "These are what I need. They glow in the dark, so they should be easy to find. Do you need coordinates?"

She shook her head and set the vial down. Pulling the book closer, she eyed the page with interest as she held the squirming sprite to her chest. The maiden couldn't read any of the strange writing of course, but she didn't need to. The stones were familiar and she knew exactly what they were and where to find them. "I've seen those before. I can find them."

"Wonderful!" Jefferson cut in as he turned away from the pair. Waving a hand behind him, he called, "Good luck with that!"

Rumplestiltskin rolled his eyes at the younger man. "Did I mention that you will, of course, be compensated for this little venture? Of which _she_ will be doing most of the work."

The portal jumper paused. On his heel, he spun back to face them. Pouting his lips in consideration, he squinted and fixed his collar. "How compensated?"

"Gratuitously," He assured the younger man. The imp rested a hand on top of the woman's head in a manner not quite unlike how one might regard a dog. "So long as you return with both Arista and her spoils within twenty four hours and without any… lasting damage."

The maiden didn't seem to notice her employer's condescension. Instead, she smiled affectionately up at the man before looking to the stranger. There was hope in her eyes, and maybe a little eagerness. Jefferson's eyes fell back to her drying white shirt, still translucent around the odd pelt dress and arched a brow at the strange sea shell necklace she wore. Realizing he may be able to get more than just a hat full of spun gold out of this, a wicked smile worked its way across Jefferson's lips.

"Well…" He sighed with a hint of false surrender. "I suppose I could be persuaded to escort the young lady to Neverland…"

Arista let out a pleased squeak and began to bounce in her seat. The tiny sprite in her clutches gave a startled squeal and she quickly nuzzled it to her cheek. It seemed placated by the action and begrudgingly returned her affections as she stood. She crossed quickly over to the stranger (ignoring how he took a step back from the sprite in her hands) and beamed at him. Taking his hand from his side with her free one, she forcefully jerked it up and down by the wrist. "You won't regret this!"

"Yes, well…" Jefferson warily shook her off. "We'll see about that."

It was evident he was already regretting his decision and Rumplestiltskin was quick to pipe in, "Well, a deal's a deal! Arista, dearie, why don't you go gather your provisions? And don't forget your shoes this time, hm?"

Knowing it was less of a suggestion and more an order, the blonde woman nodded. She held up the sprite with gentle hands. "May I return this little guppie to the pond first?"

"Certainly," Her employer grit his teeth around the word, a bit irritated that she remembered his promise. "Why not?"

Bending at the knee in a quick, excited motion, Arista ran off. Jefferson gave her a wide berth. He watched her go with interested eyes and looked back at Rumplestiltskin with an arched brow. "How was it you came across such a… _chaste_ young woman?"

The Dark One closed the book with a snap. "We made a deal."

"What for?"

"Our business," The imp replied with a smirk. "I don't care what it is you two get up to so long as it doesn't interfere with said business…that being said, I highly doubt that's a pond you want to dip your toe into, so to speak."

"Why not?" The portal jumper arched a brow. A smile wormed its way across his face. "She's seems…friendly."

"She most certainly is."

Jefferson squinted at him before letting his features relax. Hands innocently behind his back, he sauntered toward him on heeled feet. "So why is it _you_ don't want to make the trip with her? Surely you have a means to get to Neverland yourself if that's where she was plucked from."

"I have far more important manners than thievery, Jefferson."

The young man's eyes narrowed, just a touch, in irritation. "That's hurtful. If you're going to dismiss my abilities, I could always let you get your own loot."

"But then who would so arrogantly fill my time with insolent banter?" Rumplestiltskin asked with a fiendish, but not cold, smile. "Play your role and I'll pay you quite handsomely, Hatter. Just don't question my motives."

"Yeah, yeah." Jefferson waved a dismissive hand and spun back around to face the bookshelf to hide his grin. "A good thief should be seen and not heard."

"What's a thief?"

The portal jumper flinched and spun to find Arista standing in the doorway. She had changed into a more suitable (and dry) brown corset and riding pants, along with a pair of boots and a wool jacket that fell past her knees. Vaguely, he was a bit disappointed that her breast was no longer on display. Jefferson shook his head, amazed that someone who had stomped her way so carelessly through the mansion had managed to sneak up on him. Her brown eyes were wide in an innocent, curious manner that didn't install a lot of confidence in her capabilities. Jefferson stared at her, but she only continued to smile doltishly at him. His gaze flicked over to his employer and he pursed his lips in displeasure.

Rumplestiltskin merely smirked at him before he approached his young assistant. Wrapping an arm around her shoulders, he let his fingers twiddled against her jacket delicately as he steered her away from the other man. Holding up a finger, he kept his tone light and airy and not at all as harsh as Jefferson would have expected, given that Rumplestiltskin was giving an _order_, not coddling a small child. "Now, Arista, I want you to do just as Jefferson says…" His smile turned a hint darker. "Unless he's telling you to take off your dress."

Arista grinned at him. They'd had this conversation before. She wasn't to take it off unless she was completely and utterly alone. Someone could take it from her and she would lose her ability to shift back and forth between forms. Holding out the hem that was barely visible under her corset, she replied with a chipper, "I know."

Behind them, Jefferson hummed in annoyance. "I'm insulted you would think so low of me."

Rumplestiltskin pointedly ignored him. Pulling a sack from the waist of his belt, he held it up to the young maiden's face. "Fill this. Don't come back with less than ten stones."

"I won't," She promised as she took it from him. With great care, she tucked it away inside her coat.

The Dark One gave her head a condescending pat. "Good girl."

"Well." Jefferson cleared his throat and adjusted his ascot as he stepped forward. Offering his arm to her, he grabbed his hat from where it was sitting on the desk. "Shall we be on our way?"

Beaming, Arista took it and with a dramatic flick of his wrist, Jefferson opened the portal. Leaning closer to her, he raised his voice to be heard over the whipping winds the hat created, "Stay close! If two go, two have to come back! Got it?!"

The blonde nodded, too stunned by the purple haze to speak. When he gave her a slight tug, she met his gaze.

"There's nothing to be nervous about! I've done this a thousand times!" The stranger smiled at her, genuinely and roguish in a way she found suited him much better than a scowl. "Ready?"

Giving his arm a squeeze, Arista nodded once more. "Ready!"

"Good- we'll go on three! One, two… _three!_"

The pair jumped into the portal, leaving an unimpressed Rumplestiltskin in their wake. The Imp pursed his lips with distaste. The portal had scattered just about every piece of paper from his desk around the room. He glared at them before falling into his seat. He'd just have to wait until Arista came back for her to clean them up.

**A/N: I'm putting Jefferson around...20-23 in this fic, since Grace is about ten? Meaning he had her fairly young. At his oldest, I would put Jefferson at 35. I just want to give a shout out to my only reviewer at this time; the lovely **_**winchesterxgirl**_**. She's fantastic. If you feel inclined, I'd love to know whether Rumple and Jefferson were in-character. Any if any part of this fic made no sense, my apologies. I'm currently looking for a beta. Also, is it Rumple or Rumpel?! I'm going with Rumple until corrected because several different sources use different ones. **


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: shout out to my wonderful beta **_**UnsightlyDreams**_**, without whom this chapter would have been a mess! Seriously, she's a blessing! **

"_Wow_."

Jefferson grinned at the awed expression on Arista's face. The woman's gaze slowly trailed over the room, taking in the various doors and portals just waiting to be explored. Proud, he propped a hand on his hip and smirked. "Impressive, isn't it?"

Breaking away from his arm, she approached one of the closer doors. She tilted her head at it, a bit disturbed by the idea of an entire world fitting inside such a small, pretty entryway. It glimmered back at her; the frame was a light pink and the air in front of it hazy. The entire thing seemed to radiate warmth. The mermaid had never seen or felt anything like it. She raised a careful hand to touch it - to feel the pink smog beneath her fingertips - but Jefferson quickly plucked it away before she could.

"_Ah_, _ah_, _ah_, none of that now." His tone was just a bit too condescending for her liking and the blonde rolled her eyes. He placed his hands on her shoulders and spun her away from the tantalizing pink door. Pushing her in another direction, the Hatter told her, "We're on a tight schedule and well, some of these are best left unexplored. Especially by amateurs."

Arista frowned at him, but said nothing. Her eyes flickered back to the door, unable to put it out of her mind as she allowed herself to be steered away. Head craning back to look at the pulsating pink door, she asked where it lead to.

"Toy Land." The portal jumper wrinkled his nose in distaste as he strolled forward. Returning to her side with a shake of his head, he commented, "Dreadful place."

As Jefferson continued forward, she paused to take in another of the entries. In front of her stood a large green door with fancy golden handles. It positively _reeked _of grandeur and curiosity ate away at her. The idea of a whole world just waiting to be explored, new things to see and new people to meet made the mermaid just a bit crazy. She had been kept away for so _long… _and Jefferson had seen everything. Had been everywhere and treated such a gift so nonchalantly. Jealousy ate at her, jealousy and a tiny bit of intrigue as she looked over at the man in front of her.

He held himself quite differently from Rumplestiltskin. Perhaps it was because he was younger; he seemed just as arrogant but a bit more aloof. His actions were dramatic and animated and vaguely, Arista wondered if he and the Dark One were related, or had perhaps simply grown up in close quarters. The mermaid wasn't entirely certain how human aging worked. From what she had seen of humans (which, admittedly, wasn't much more than pictures in books and the paintings around the desolate castle), age and gender were both rather difficult to distinguish for her. Especially when it came to painted children.

But Jefferson was no child. He was tall and lean and still talking to himself. She supposed him handsome; with his blue eyes and cleft chin and stubble (so odd; that human males felt the need to shave their facial hair. In fact, humans in general seemed to have hair in several places merpeople did not; something she had learned after some self-discovery Rumplestiltskin insist she no longer talk about). Eying his back for only a moment longer, she turned back to the door.

There were thousands of men in the world and it seemed as if that number had just increased tenfold, given the amount of doors in the room. She could have her pick of them later, but she may never see such a sight again and Arista didn't want to waste it ogling the help.

She touched one of the thick gold handles of the door she had been admiring before being distracted by human hormones. "And this one?"

Jefferson spun on his heel, expecting the young maiden to have been charmed by his witty commentary. His words died in his throat as he realized the distance between them. With a dramatic _ugh_ that involved throwing his head back with exasperation, he crossed the room to her. Full lips pursed, the Hatter slapped her hand away from the handle. "That's the portal to Oz. Now, we really have to be going. Time works differently in here and I told Rumplestiltskin I'd have you back as soon as possible."

"And they all…they _all_ lead to different worlds?" Her brown eyes lifted to his blue. "Different places?"

Jefferson nodded. He supposed her to be rather sheltered, given the sheer awe in her voice and the hint of unease in how she held herself. Gaze and smile both a bit softer, he told her, "Mhm. A little overwhelming, isn't it?"

"It's amazing." Before leaving Neverland, Arista would have never even considered the possibility of another realm, let alone what seemed to be at least a dozen of them. A hint of bitterness rose in her as she realized that was probably exactly as her father had intended.

"That, too," he agreed with a nod. With a hint of mischief in his grin, Jefferson asked, "Wanna try and guess which one is yours?"

"It's the blue one." The blonde pointed a finger vaguely in the door's direction before moving toward it.

The portal jumper blinked as she stepped out from under his gaze. Glaring at the empty space in front of him, Jefferson fumed at the loss of his dramatic reveal. Indignant, he snapped, "He told you!"

Appalled by the accusation on both her and Rumplestiltskin's behalf, Arista scoffed. "He did not!"

Flipping out both arms in a quick, huffy manner, the Hatter demanded, "Then how'd you know?!"

"Because it's _blue_?" Arista offered, borrowing some of the left over condescension from his _amateurs_ comment. "And Neverland is an _island?_"

Jefferson hummed at her, his lips tight and eyes narrow. With a long sigh, he shrugged his shoulders and waved off her intuition. "Lucky guess."

Arista rolled her eyes at him and spun back to face the door in front of her. "Come on, then."

"Hey! I go first." When she scoffed at him, the man righted his collar. "To make sure it's safe. You might know the waters better, but I bet you don't know anything about the island itself."

She glared at him. "I know enough."

"Oh really?" Jefferson pulled the door open. With a flamboyant bow, he gestured for her to enter. "Well, then, by all means ladies first."

The woman eyed him with trepidation, but stepped through the door and into the lush forest. Arista smirked slightly as she listened to the birds in the trees above, and more importantly, listened for trouble. The air was still, but she didn't trust it. She'd overheard stories from pirates about the Shadow that came from thin air and she wasn't about to fall victim to it. Neither it nor one of the boys that did it's bidding. Her bemusement didn't last as she caught sight of a familiar rock formation through the heavy brush. Shoulders slumped, Arista sighed.

Jefferson stepped out of the portal behind her. It closed soundlessly, leaving only his hat behind. Plucking it from the ground, he wiped some dirt from the brim as he asked, "What's wrong?" When she was silent, he stepped up beside her. His gaze flickered out to where she was staring. Dropping his chin to her shoulder, the man squinted at the formation. "Is there something wrong with that rock?"

She rolled her shoulder, shoving him off. "We're on the wrong side."

"Wrong side of what?" He asked as he pulled away from her to put his hat on his head.

"Of the _Island_. That is Skull Rock; a telltale _eastern_ landmark. We need to be in the west," Arista explained with somber features. Her gaze met his and she offered him a limp smile.

Jefferson stared at her a long moment. "You can't be serious."

"I am. Come along, if we hurry we might be able to reach the eastern shore by nightfall."

"Nightfall?!" He groaned. Stomping his foot, he didn't notice the blonde wince at the sudden movement. "That's insane!"

Arista nodded, her eyes darting around for any sign that the Hatter might have sprung a trap with his pouting. "Nightfall, if we go _now_. Then you can sleep and I can do all the work."

Jefferson sighed and tilted his hat back from his brow. After a moment, he gestured at her with both hands. "Alright. Lead the way."

"Stay close," Arista warned him as she turned toward the path. "And watch out for traps and Lost Boys."

"Traps?" The man repeated dubiously. While he _had _been to Neverland before, he typically visited the ships surrounding it. He had ventured along the beaches, sure, but this was technically his first time on the Island itself and he didn't like the sound of _traps_ one bit. "What kind of traps?"

"Well, from what I remember, they like to leave things on the ground. Things people fall over or nets that tangle them and shoot them into trees." From over her shoulder, she smiled playfully at him. "It can be really fun to watch." Her smile dwindled as she turned back around. Slowly, they began to move through the woods. "But not so fun if you're on the wrong end of their games."

"Have you ever been?" He asked, carefully mimicking her steps. Arms out to balance himself on the thin trail, Jefferson clarified, "On the wrong end?"

"Me? No. Mostly they busy themselves with pirates." Arista kept her eyes on the dirt and took gentle, meticulous steps forward, avoiding any piece of foliage or rock that looked suspicious. "But sometimes their games can get…violent. And scary. And hard to watch."

The Hatter didn't like the sound of that at all. "Oh?"

"Maybe we should use the hat." She spun to face him, nearly knocking him off balance with her quick movement. Her hands caught his lapels to steady him, to keep him from falling off the trail and sparking something infinitely more nefarious. "Can't it take us to the other side of the Island?"

Stunned by what he perceived as desperation, Jefferson shook his head. "Can't. It'd take too long; we'd have to go back through the Portal of Doors and then we can only go to the Enchanted Forest. No backsies."

Stomach in knots, Arista let out a weak, "_oh_," before she resumed walking. Jefferson followed close behind, trying his best to mirror her steps precisely.

Puzzled and a bit unsettled by how she had clung to him, the human paused. He didn't like the idea of babysitting someone so naive. It wasn't right of Rumplestiltskin to subject him to such a young woman. It was almost unfair.

The woman kept her pace brisk, but her steps small and calculated. Jefferson frowned at that, knowing if she got too jumpy, she could inadvertently set off one of the traps she was so afraid of. Tucking his hands in his pockets, he forced himself to relax. If he was calm, she could be, the man reasoned.

They walked in silence a few moments before the Hatter spoke again. "So…how was it you found yourself a fish in Rumplestiltskin's pond?"

The blonde blinked, first in surprise, then in annoyance. Shaking her head, she simply kept walking. At least the birds, for all their noise, were pleasant.

"Arista?"

Civil, but disinterested, she replied with a cool, "Yes, Jefferson?"

He leaned a bit closer and smirked impishly. Whispering in her ear, he blew a strand of her golden hair from her shoulder and teased, "How was it you ended up a fish in Rumplestiltskin's pond?"

"I am not a _fish_." Arista clenched her fists and took a large step out from under him. "I am a _person,_ and if you call me _fish_ again, I will gladly misstep and send a horde of children with spears after you."

The man blinked in surprise at her icy tone. A bit offended that the help would be so disrespectful (especially when he had been making such colorful conversation), he mimed a sour expression behind her back. Sniffing, Jefferson righted his jacket with pursed lips. Ego a bit wounded, he held his head high, but kept his eyes on her brown leather boots. What did he care if the little trout liked him anyway. She was just a means to an ends- an end that would no doubt come quickly, if her relationship with Rumplestiltskin continued. He took small steps and tried his best not to bump in to her. "But really. I've never seen him take on a servant before."

Arista lifted a delicate shoulder in a light shrug. "We made a deal."

"So I gathered. Your legs for his use, right?"

The maiden grit her teeth and kept walking. Ignoring his frustrated huff, she kept her eyes down and very seriously considered making good on her promise. At the very least, he would be out of her hair and she would no longer have to answer his trivial questions. Then she remembered she would need the hat to get home and thought better of it. Plus, she wouldn't wish the fate of being at the hands of the Shadow on anyone. Annoying or not.

He gave her shoulder a light poke. "So what was the deal?"

"Like you said," Arista's voice grew hard as she repeated, "I get legs and he dictates how I use them."

Resisting the urge to ask if that involved spreading them (he was a gentleman after all, albeit barely), Jefferson eyed her back with interest. Her blonde hair was the color of the spun gold the Dark One was always spinning, falling in curls over her shoulders and pulled back from her eyes by a leather circlet headband. It was then he noticed how tightly her hands were clenched into fists and realized that the woman in front of him most likely had his life in her hands.

Tone apologetic (and completely fake), he rolled his eyes behind her back. "I didn't mean to offend."

She scoffed at him. "Right."

"Really…it's just odd. Someone as pretty as you working for someone as… ornery as Rumplestiltskin."

Arista blinked. Looking over her shoulder with a hint of surprise, she repeated, "Ornery?"

"It means-"

Her brown eyes narrowed at him. "I know what it means. I just don't see how it applies to Mr. Rumplestiltskin."

Jefferson stared at her. Doubt lacing his tone, he squinted at her as he asked, "_Really?"_

The maiden shrugged. With a sigh, he motioned for her to keep walking and without a word, she did.

They had actually been making fairly good time until it happened. One of Jefferson's feet pressed a touch too hard on a leaf and the ground gave way under him. Hat toppling off his head, the portal jumper tumbled down the hill side. Grunts and curses spilled from his lips as he was thrown over rocks and branches before he landed hard against a log at the bottom.

The woman's head snapped up as a high pitched crow filled the air, quickly followed by the gleeful shouts of homicidal children and she took off after the man, snatching up his hat on the way down.

Jefferson had barely sat up when she grabbed him. Yanking him to his feet, she pushed him forward, "Go! Go, go, _go!_"

"Give me a minute-" his words were cut off as a rock pelted him. It cut across his brow, splitting it open. Blood pouring down his face, the Hatter let out a grunt of annoyance as she kept shoving him.

"Get to the shore! Get to the shore now!"

"What will-" Jefferson jumped as an arrow embedded into the tree beside them.

He followed her without complaint after that. Followed by the calls of wild children and pan flute music, the pair raced through the woods. Their long coats billowed behind them as they jumped and skipped over anything that looked even slightly suspicious. For Arista, it was rather thrilling; she'd never got to use her legs in such a manner before and while the imminent threat of being skewered by arrows was a daunting one, she was feeling rather exhilarated.

Jefferson, not so much. The man kept a firm hand on the woman's back, trying his best to keep up with her coltish legs and swore as he once again stumbled. An arrow sliced through his jacket, pinning it to the ground, but the maiden gave him no reprieve. Grabbing him by the high collar of his jacket and she pulled him along, the arrow tearing the black material before finally snapping.

The next time they stopped, it was Arista's doing. She halted at the sight of a thin stream. It was a mere five feet across and appeared rather tepid. Jefferson didn't understand why her tan features had paled.

"What?!" He snapped, gaze whipping around. "Why are we stopping?!"

"Come on, we've got to go around!" She told him, grabbing his arm.

"What, no! It's only a few feet, come on-"

"Jefferson, don't-"

But it was too late. Jefferson began to wade through the water of the seemingly innocuous stream. He had barely taken a step when he was sucked under by the strong current that raced mere two feet below the water.

Invisible to the naked eye, the strip of placid water was home to the most deadly undertow in Neverland.

**A/N: Also, thank you to all my wonderful reviewers: winchesterxgirl, BigBadWolfTardis, blackcat711, Adamglambertlover, Kira Tsumi, isla and breee. I really appreciate the support, y'all.**


	4. Chapter 4

Arista stared in horror at the empty space where Jefferson had been. Behind her, the Lost Boys continued to shout and caw, but all she could see was the placid stream. The surface was calm and steady, as though it hadn't just swept away her only way home.

Panicked, the maiden quickly pulled her boots off. Tying the laces together, she vaguely wondered how long humans could breathe underwater before she tossed them into the stream. They disappeared from sight and Arista followed them without second thought.

The undertow swallowed her instantly.

Yanking the bottom of her dress, Arista grimaced as her pants split and her legs fused together to form her tail. Bones and muscles on fire, she barely felt her gills rise to grip her throat. It was forced closed a moment before she could breath. A thin membrane grew over her eyes as scales clamped around her brow and temples, over the curve of her cheeks. They reflected the dim light in front of her, expanding her vision and sharpening.

The current spat her out into a deep cavern.

It only took her a moment to find Jefferson; already unconscious and bleeding as he sank.

His limp form was dragged down by his heavy coat and boots. A few powerful pumps of her tail and he was in her arms. The taste and smell of his blood had attracted a swarm of curious eels. They circled the strange pair, one of them flicking her across the face with its tail as she tried to pilfer the easy meal. One of them struck out, biting the human's cheek and ripping away a piece of flesh. Hissing at it, she held Jefferson's limp form tight to her chest and bared her teeth. As it backed off, the young female tried to gauge their whereabouts.

They were thankfully in an area not populated by the Wild Ones. One of the eels struck once more, biting through her wool jacket and into the tender flesh of her arm. The hat slipped from her webbed fingertips as she jerked away from it. Another sunk its teeth into her tail and Arista cringed as she batted it away. Hooking her arm around the unconscious human, she moved toward the nearest cave.

It was unfamiliar to her, but Arista supposed it would do as she all but threw the man onto the shore. Wincing, the mermaid looked down to find a few of the eels fangs embedded in her fin. With a sigh, she fell back beside the man. Water dripped steadily from the stalactites, the ground a bed of rocks covered in thick moss glowing a luminescent green against the darkness.

Looking at him, the maiden frowned at his lack of movement. Carefully, she turned on her side. Maneuvering with her tail was difficult (she truly wasn't made for the land, whether the rocks were wet or otherwise) but she managed to position herself over him. His eyes were closed and his mouth parted.

"Jefferson." Arista gave his chest a shake. When he remained motionless, she shook him harder. "Jefferson, we don't have time for this. Wake up."

The Hatter remained prone. In the faint light, she could see how pale he was, how the gash across his brow had thickened and how the bite that held a few long, sharp teeth from an eel pulsed with blood. Worst of all, Arista could see how utterly still he was. With a frown, she vaguely wondered what was wrong. Perhaps he had passed out from shock, the maiden reasoned. That in mind, she slapped him across the face.

"Jefferson!"

When Jefferson didn't move, Arista panicked. Fear bubbled in her chest. Perhaps she had killed him. Perhaps the Island's magic had heard her contemptuous thoughts and granted her wish for solitude. Tears pricked her eyes as she squared her shoulders. Maybe pain would wake him. She punched him in the stomach, growing more and more frantic with each passing second that he remained unconscious. Again and again she laid blows, and it was only by sheer luck that her fist managed to hit his slam upward, into his diaphragm.

Blue eyes shot open as the man began to cough. Sputtering and choking on the water as it was expelled from his lungs, Jefferson rolled on his side. Sighing with relief, the mermaid eased out of her jacket as the Hatter took deep, constricted breathes.

As she carefully placed the black wool over his shoulders, he managed to ask, "W-wha- what ha-appened?"

"I told you not to go in that stream," Arista told him simply. Carefully, she brushed some of his hair back with clawed fingertips. Eying the blood on his neck with concern, her voice grew a bit more docile. "I should've been clearer."

"Damn right you should have!" Jefferson shoved her hand away. Still on his side, he stayed silent except for the thick congested wheezes that racked his body. Unable to fathom anything beyond the sharp pain his lungs, he rubbed some of the salt water from his eyes. His hand came back stained with blood he couldn't see in the darkness.

The blonde bit her lip. With a gentle pat on his back, she slid off the rock. The salt water eased the stinging bites on her tail and arms. Arista looked back at him with soft eyes. "I'll bring you back something for your head."

Jefferson spun to face her, to demand she stay, but she was already gone. Only a ripple remained where she had once been. Fear ebbed at him as he looked around the deserted cave. He couldn't see much, the only light coming from moss that crept up the walls and pillowed his aching body. It glowed like fairy fire fungus and he hoped it wasn't poisonous as he settled his down on it. Listening to the steady drip of water and the soft waves, the Hatter sighed. His lungs and stomached burned and his head throbbed. His cheek itched and every word spoken tugged at something under the skin. As he pulled the wool jacket closer to his shivering form, he sighed and prayed the woman return soon.

A few minutes later, the blonde returned with his hat and her boots in hand. Jefferson was still facing away from the opening at the mouth of the cave. She eyed his back with trepidation and gently spoke his name.

"What?" Jefferson replied flatly. He was cold and wet and his entire body hurt and he didn't want to deal with any more of her inane inquiries or spurious concern.

"I got your hat back," Arista offered softly. "And some herbs for your wounds. I don't- I mean, human anatomy is different, but they might stop the bleeding."

The man sighed at her gentle tone. Merely reaching a hand behind him, he demanded, "Give me my hat."

She slipped the brim of it into his waiting fingers. When she held tight to it, he turned to face her.

In the dim light, the human couldn't see much of her. Only the shine of the scales that encircled her brow and ran the length of her high cheek bones. They glittered like stars but he was in no mood to appreciate them. She never should have come. She should have stayed in the Enchanted Forest and kept her quiet niceties to herself and her master. Scowling, Jefferson snapped, "What?"

"I'm sorry you got hurt." Arista let go and moved further away from the shore. Settling on a nearby rock, she dropped her gaze from his. Boots safe above the water, a clawed finger fiddled with one of the laces. "I should've taken better care of you."

"I'm not your responsibility." Sitting up, his stomach throbbed with protest, but he ignored it. With a grimace, he reminded her, "You're the pet here, not me."

The maiden lifted a shoulder. Her wet corset made the movement a bit more difficult than it had to be. Pressing her cheek against the cold stone, she scratched her scales against it. "Still; I'm glad you're not hurt."

"What?" He chuckled in a way that sounded harsh to his own ears. Pulling her jacket closer, Jefferson teased bitterly, "Don't want me ruining your good time?"

"Well, maybe a little, but mostly I just don't want you to be in pain." _Not any more, anyway_, her mind added, guilt ridden from her early thoughts of leaving him to the Lost Boys. "You're not, are you? Not seriously?"

His voice lost some of its edge, "No. I'm not."

Arista's shoulders sagged with relief. As he lay back down on the rocks, the blonde smiled to herself. "Oh. Good."

"Why do you care?"

"You're my friend." The mermaid blinked at him. Jefferson's features were hard to make out in the dim light, but lit up slightly by the moss, she could read them just fine. His brow was tight with tension and his lips pursed in a manner that suggested annoyance that she didn't totally understand. "You're my partner. I wouldn't want anything to happen to you."

His glare sharpened at her. "We are _not_ partners and we are certainly not _friends_. This is a one-time thing."

Surprised by the coldness in his voice, the young blonde shrunk back. As she looked down at her webbed fingers, she swallowed the embarrassment that swept over her. "Oh. Alright then, I'm sorry."

"And stop apologizing!" He clenched his jaw. Irritation welled in him; not at her but with the entire situation. There wasn't room in all the worlds for a soft hearted fool like Arista. Especially not in worlds like his or Rumplestiltskin's and every small kindness she paid him made Jefferson's heart ache for what would become of her. "You're a thief, act like it."

"Very well."

He rolled on to his side. Facing away from her, the man ordered, "Get some sleep. We'll get the stones in the morning."

Arista stared at his back a long moment, relieved by his steady breathes. "Jefferson?"

"What?"

"I'm glad you're alive." She told him firmly. Honestly. "Even if you don't like me."

Jefferson squeezed his eyes shut and yanked her coat over his head. Frowning to himself, he cleared his throat. "Please. Just go to sleep."

Arista ignored him. Instead, she ducked back under the water and disappeared from sight.

When Jefferson woke again, it was because what appeared to be a detached penis was slithering across his face. With a cry, the human kicked away from it, almost winding up in the water for a second time.

The woman beside him chuckled at his dramatics. She sat a few feet away at the edge of the shore line. "Oh calm down, it's just an olm!"

"It's disgusting!" The man snapped at her, frantically rubbing his face with his hands. His cuts stung, but not terribly, and he noticed that some of the blood had crusted along his temple in the night. Rubbing it off on the woman's jacket, the Hatter continued to scowl.

"I'm sure it thinks likewise of you, Jefferson." Arista glanced down at the little salamander as it crawled along. Gentle fingers plucked it from the mossy rocks. Rubbing their noses together, she cooed at it, "He wouldn't know pretty if it swam up and bit him, would he, sweet thing?"

The olm didn't respond, just settled into the crook of her elbow as she looked back at the man. Jefferson was glaring at her, but she paid his sour expression no mind. A smile pulling at her lips, she stroked the creature's slimy skin as she told him, "I got the stones. We can go back whenever you like."

Jefferson blinked in surprise. "You went without me?"

"That was always the plan." She shrugged.

It was then he realized she was once again back in her human form. Had it not been for the faintest glow from the moss, he probably wouldn't have noticed her bare legs or the thick gash embedded in her calf. Her boots looked large and out of place, barely covering her up to the ankle.

Frowning, he crawled a bit closer to her. Touching her knee, Jefferson tilted it away from the ground, trying to force it to catch more light than what was available. "What happened to your leg?"

"Oh, it's just an eel bite." Her hand found his chin and she gently pushed it to the left. Eying the mark on his cheek, she told him, "Looks like they got you, too."

Her thumb went to his brow and she pursed her lips. The cut was thin and the blood had congealed, but she still didn't like the look of it. "Maybe Mr. Rumplestiltskin can fix that for you. He seems to be rather skilled in that sort of thing."

At the mention of their employer, Jefferson's heart clenched. Carefully leaning away from the tender touch, he took hold of her hand. Placing it back in her lap, he offered her a wan smile. "We should go."

Arista nodded. Gently setting the olm back down on the rocks, she stood.

Jefferson peered up at her, barely able to make out her lithe form in the dim light. Still, he could see well enough to know she was offering her hand, could see that she was favoring her left leg and noticed how her short dress shimmered with the light. It barely grazed the top of her thighs, but he didn't peek up it. He very seriously considered it, but he supposed it disrespectful. The woman had saved his life after all. The least he could do was pay her some casual respect. The Hatter took her hand and allowed her to pull him to his feet.

Arista's skin was clammy and cold to the touch. Jefferson supposed his own wasn't much warmer.

"Do we have to get above ground?" She asked as their hands parted. The maiden eyed him with trepidation, unsure if she'd be able to drag him back to the surface given his injuries (and admittedly, her own).

"No, this should be enough." Jefferson reached for her and took her arm. Carefully pulling her to his side, he tossed his hat in front of him and the portal opened up once more.

The pair shuffled and all but fell into the purple haze.

**A/N: Shout out to my lovely beta _UnsightlyDreams_ and my wonderful reviewers (_winchesterxgirl, blackcat711, breee, BigBadWolfTardis_, and _NicoleR85_)! Thanks so much, guys!**


	5. Chapter 5

In the warm lights of the Portal of the Doors, it became woefully apparent that neither of them were quite as unscathed as they let on. Both were pale and shaken, but it was obviously the man who was in worse shape. Blood was smeared over the left half of his face and down his neck. Dark circles clung under Jefferson's eyes and he was in visible pain, no longer able to hide his winces as he had in the darkness.

Horrified, Arista raised a hand to cover her mouth as her stomach dropped. Jefferson was in visible pain and the small, fake smile on his lips only made her feel worse. This was her fault - she should've gone on without him the moment she saw they were on the wrong side of the island. Arista should've left him and come back for the trip home. Instead, she had led him into danger. First with her careless steps, then with the eels. Jefferson could have died in that cave and she would've been to blame. Tears pricked at her eyes as she took his face in her quivering hands.

Thumbing his chin, the blonde gaped at him for a long moment before finding her voice, "I am _so_ sorry, Jefferson. I should've taken better care of you. I knew the Island was dangerous but I didn't respect it…"

"It's not your fault." Carefully, he placed her jacket over her shoulders. Arista hardly noticed. The man's eyes lingered on her doleful features, a bit heartsick by her sincerity. Her hair fell in wet curls over her shoulders, clinging to her pale, translucent skin. Avoiding her eyes, Jefferson admitted, "I should've listened to you."

Arista shook her head and let go of him. Giving his arm an encouraging rub, she forced the fear from her expression; they weren't friends after all. Her sympathy was probably bothering him again. Embarrassed by her overreaction, she hugged herself and stepped back.

Jefferson winced as she turned away from him. His gaze fell to the bite on her leg and noticed she had a matching one on her forearm. They were scabbed over and a few jagged teeth were visible, sticking obscenely from the wounds. Vaguely, the man wondered how she had managed to change forms without healing them. Clearing his throat, Jefferson smoothly steered her toward the right door with a hand on her back. Gently running his thumb along the damp wool of her jacket, he joked, "So... Eels, huh? Guess I can add those to the list of creatures I don't want to disturb."

"It wasn't their fault." A crease forming in her brow, the maiden told him, "They thought you were dead. They just wanted something to eat."

The man frowned down at her, tightly pursing his lips together and giving a hum. He took her by the wrist and gently tilted her arm toward the light, showing off the welt on her forearm. Gaze softening, Jefferson shook his head. "Well, you have to admit, they pack a nasty bite."

Arista agreed with a rueful nod. Each step sent another of their needle-like teeth further into the muscles of her calf. "They certainly do."

He let her go. Trying his best to strut as he usually would, the Hatter moved forward. With a flourish of his long coat that sent beads of water flying off it, he spun around to face her with a smirk. "I suppose I should thank you, for saving my life and all."

A coy smile pulled at the corner of her mouth. Barely able to stifle it, Arista lifted a shoulder. Her coat slipped from her it at the movement and she was quick to right it, covering the thick strap of her brown corset once more. Expectantly, she peered up at him. "It wouldn't hurt."

Taking her hand, Jefferson offered her a deep bow. His ribs and stomach screamed with protest, but he ignored them. She had risked her life for his, and even put up with his whining without complaint. The least he could do was thank her… and perhaps he _had _been touched by the young maiden's concern. The portal jumper considered kissing her hand - and then remembered the creepy, slimy olm she had fussed over. Instead, he simply inclined his head with thanks. "You have my deepest gratitude, Miss…" The Hatter faltered with a blink before finishing with a lame, "Whatever your last name is."

Arista tilted her head. With a curious glint in her eye, she pulled her hand away. "What's a last name?"

"You know, you have the name people call you and then a family name," He explained as he straightened up. Fixing his waist coat with a tug, Jefferson explained, "The first is your given name, the other your last name."

The maiden peered at him, intrigue written all over her delicate features. He wasn't much taller than her. Far more interested in what he had to say than trivial height differences, Arista asked, "Do you have a last name?"

"Of course." He straightened the collar of his jacket, the light reflecting off the leather and showing off the thick roses sculpted into it. "Most people do you know."

Smiling eagerly at him, she asked, "What is it?"

The Hatter faltered. His mother had drilled in the importance of protecting his identity at a young age; a portal jumper herself, she had made more than her share of enemies. Giving away something as simple and personable as his last name could get him killed if it ended up being repeated in the wrong company. Still... It was hard to deny the pretty blonde who had saved his life _anything_. He was fairly certain Arista could've asked for one of his kidneys and he'd have readied the knife so long as she had been looking up at him with such genuine fascination. It made him feel important; something he hadn't felt in a very long time. It was different from the attention he usually received. Usually if someone was paying him any mind it was because they wanted something, or he had something to offer. If they were complimenting him, it was on his skill. People didn't ask for his insight or opinion into things because they didn't care. A good thief was seen and not heard- and that was only after the job was done. The best thieves had to be invisible. It wasn't a stretch for him. Jefferson had felt that was most of his life.

It felt nice, having someone look at him and not through him.

The Hatter leered at her a moment, silently debating on the harm it could do to tell her before he finally decided on the truth. "Liddell."

"Little?" Arista repeated with an arched brow.

"Liddell, like _fiddle_," the man corrected, spinning her toward the door once more. When he noticed the cringe on her lips, the Hatter regretted the sudden movement. Still, she hadn't complained so Jefferson didn't comment on it. "You know, we don't make a terrible team. We should work together again sometime." He grinned and offered her his arm. "Somewhere dryer, with less chance of drowning."

The blonde stared at his arm. Peering at it skeptically a moment, she raised her cool gaze to meet his. "I thought you didn't like me."

"I like results." Smirking, Jefferson pointed a stern finger at her as he added, "And I never said that."

"It was implied." Arista swallowed, fisting the hem of her dress. In the light of the Portal of the Doors, her pale skin was nearly translucent and her sadness played obviously on her features. "I don't want to work with someone who thinks I'm a burden."

The man sighed dramatically. "I never said that!"

"But you think I am. It's okay. I didn't exactly do my job very well."

"You did fine."

"Jefferson." Arista frowned at him. Firmly, she brushed some of his hair from his eyes. It caught on some of the dried blood that stained his forehead and she gave his eyebrow a gentle caress with her thumb. "Look at you."

A faint blush crossed his cheeks as her hand fell. Forcing down the eagerness in his expression, Jefferson shot her a cocky wink and fixed his collar. "I know I'm gorgeous." Losing some of his arrogance, he smiled softly at her. "You're not annoying. I was just...miserable with the entire situation and I took it out on you. Can you forgive me?

The maiden beamed at him and took his arm. "Yes!"

"We really must be on our way." Jefferson cleared his throat, hoping she wouldn't notice the flush on his cheeks. He steered her toward the door and fought to keep the smile off his lips as the young woman gave his arm an encouraging squeeze. "Your master will have my head on a silver platter if I'm late with you."

The maiden nodded her agreement. The entry before them was an imposing wooden door, covered in thick iron patterns. It wasn't unlike the door to Rumplestiltskin's castle, she noticed. Similar in the shaped archway and circular handle. "Liddell is a lovely name. I've never heard it before."

"Just call me Jefferson." He smirked at her fascination with the portal, a touch amused by how easily distracted she was by the simplest thing. Still, worry crept through him at the thought of her spreading his last name around and he delicately cupped her chin with a finger. Tilting her gaze to his own, the portal jumper ignored the innocent curiosity in her eyes as he winked at her. "And don't tell Rumplestiltskin."

"Very well." She inclined her head and stepped back from him. Fist over her heart, Arista bowed as she promised, "Your secret is safe with me, _Just_ Jefferson."

A reluctant grin pulled at his lips. Pleased by her sincere tone and fierce gaze, Jefferson offered her his hand. She took it without hesitance and the two stepped through the portal and into the Dark One's study.

"My, my, it certainly took you long enough!" Rumplestiltskin greeted them with a cackle.

The pair looked to find him seated at his desk, dirty boots kicked upon it. Sickly fingertips steepled and looking none-too-innocent, he grinned at them. It fell at the sight of their entwined hands and the Dark One hummed with distaste. Flexing his fingers, he asked the young blonde, "Did you get what I asked?"

"Mhm." Arista nodded and made to skip over to him. The shift in weight sent teeth the further into her calf and she stumbled. Jefferson quickly braced her hips to keep her from toppling over. Blushing with embarrassment, she batted his hands away.

The imp's dark eyes immediately fell to the mermaid's leg. They narrowed on the sight of blood and he looked accusingly at the portal jumper. Snapping up in his seat, Rumplestiltskin pulled his feet from his desk as he reminded the younger man, "We had a deal, Jefferson." He wiggled a disapproving finger at the younger man. "No damaging the goods, remember?"

"We ran into a little trouble on the Island, but she'll be fine." Jefferson placed a careful hand on her shoulder. With a playful squeeze, he nodded down at her with a bit of begrudging affection. "She's tougher than she looks, you know."

Rumplestiltskin hummed with doubt. He took in the gashes on the younger man's face and rested his cheek on a clawed finger as he shook his head. "Leave it to you to find trouble on an island populated by children."

"It was my fault- I should've been more careful." The blonde cut in. Arista moved closer to the desk, each step sending a shot of pain up her leg as she pleaded, "Please don't be mad. It wasn't his fault."

The Dark One rolled his eyes at her benevolence. When she set the bag in front of him, his expression lost some of its edge. He leaned over to open it. Inside, he found she had gathered what he had requested, if not double the ten pieces he had asked for. With an almost absent wave of the imp's hand, the two of them were enveloped in thick purple smoke.

It disappeared just as quickly as it had come.

Stunned by the sudden loss of pain, Arista looked down at her leg. The bite was gone and her skin had returned to the healthy tan it had been before their little underwater adventure. Grinning, she turned to look at Jefferson and was thrilled to see that not only had his bites disappeared, so had the cut along his brow. With a shriek of delight, she ran over to her master and threw her arms around him.

"I hate it when you do that." Scowling, Jefferson swatted some of the remaining smoke from his face. He swallowed thickly as Arista pulled her employer's face to her bosom.

"No need to be ungrateful, Hatter." The Dark One's smile remained, although it had grown cold at the boy's insolent tone. Wrapping a hand around the maiden's waist, Rumplestiltskin twiddled his fingers around the curve of it as he said, "I could easily restore your injuries if you're so inclined."

"No, no. No need for that." The portal jumper nodded to him, tipping his hat sarcastically. His blue eyes flickered to the imp's hand and felt his stomach tighten as he remembered his question about whether or not Arista spread her legs for her master. "Thank you."

"Yes!" Arista agreed, nodding excitedly as she pulled back. Taking her employer's hand, she held it by the wrist and gave it a wild pump. "Thank you so much, Mr. Rumplestiltskin!"

Rumplestiltskin stood and gave a flamboyant little bow.

Jefferson cleared his throat, easing up beside the imp in one long, less than subtle step. Adjusting his ascot, he reminded the older man, "Well, now that all the work's been done, I believe there's the subject of my _gratuitous_ payment?"

Rumplestiltskin rolled his eyes in an over-exaggerated manner that earned a giggle from the young woman. Arista stifled the sound when the Hatter frowned down at her, but her smile remained wide and bright as her employer spoke. An innocent inflection in his nasally voice, he cooed, "Wasn't the company of this lovely young maiden payment in and of itself?"

The young man shook his head with an indifferent smirk. "Not even a little bit."

Smile falling, Arista scowled at him. "I'll have you know I've had men fight and _die_ for my affections, Jefferson."

"Yeah," the portal jumper agreed with a sarcastic perk of his brows. "I bet fish fighting is real popular where you're from. Now, unless you can pay me with something other than your stunning personality, I think I'll be following your boss over to that fancy spinning wheel of his."

"Well, you heard the man, dearie." Rumplestiltskin dismissed her with a shooing motion that involved both hands. "Best make yourself scarce while we discuss business."

The young woman continued to frown, but nodded respectfully nonetheless. Fist over her heart, she bowed at the portal jumper. "Jefferson. It was good to meet you." Her eyes softened as she straightened up. "Sorry again for getting you into trouble."

Jefferson shrugged. "Sorry for weighing you down." He winked at her and added, "You make a pretty good partner… for a fish."

Arista scoffed at him and with a roll of her eyes, she left the men alone.

A small smile pulled at the corner of the portal jumper's mouth. It didn't go unnoticed by Rumplestiltskin. With a knowing hum, he circled his spinning wheel. "Well, I suppose I should thank you for returning my little mermaid…almost in one piece."

Jefferson followed him at a leisurely pace. Running his finger along the edge of the mantel above the unlit fireplace, he averted his gaze. "In my defense, she really does need to learn to clarify better."

"Yes, well, that's fish for you. Never ones to enunciate." Giggling at his own joke, Rumplestiltskin held his hand out to the boy.

A bit hesitantly, the portal jumper passed him his hat. Watching as the Dark One filled it with freshly spun gold, he took a step closer. Voice casual and body language muted, Jefferson didn't realize the apprehension playing on his features. "She seems rather fond of you."

The imp laughed once more; pitchy and mocking and making Jefferson blush a faint pink.

Sauntering over to the young man, Rumplestiltskin offered him back his hat, now filled with sparkling string of the highest quality. When he reached for it, the imp pulled it back. Smile growing cold, he teased, "If I didn't know better, I'd think you were jealous…but I certainly know better, don't I, Jefferson?"

"Of course." The Hatter swallowed and took his hat. Shifting the gold to his pocket, he forced a smile.

Rumplestiltskin stared at him a long moment before humming. "If that's all, I do believe I have other matters to attend to…including undoing whatever psychological damage the girl's received from being around someone so painfully _obvious_, Hatter."

Jefferson cleared his throat and straightened his scarf. "I haven't the faintest idea what you're talking."

"Uh-huh." The imp replied with doubt. Waving his hand, he ordered, "Get out of my castle, Jefferson. I'm a very busy man and I haven't got all day to dance around your silly little infatuation."

Blush crossing his features, the Hatter threw his hat to the ground and hopped through the portal.

As papers whipped around him once more, Rumplestiltskin sighed. Over his shoulder, he called, "Arista! How would you like to earn the human art of housekeeping?!"

**A/N: Shout out to my amazing beta, _UnsightlyDreams_ and my lovely reviewers; winchesterxgirl, BigBadWolfTardis, Breee, and NicoleR85- you're awesome.**


	6. Chapter 6

Jefferson sighed as he pulled out his pocket watch. It had been a gift from the man he was waiting for; the Coachman was no man to be trifled with for sure, but he didn't hesitate to bestow gifts upon those he liked. Those he deemed of being of use to him. The young man clenched his jaw as another minute ticked by. Sliding the watch back into his pocket, he looked around the busy streets.

A pirate port, Pleasure Island certainly lived up to its name. It was filled with every type of vice in excess and miscreants flocked to the Island. The streets ran with booze and often, blood; whether it be from prize fights or simple bar brawls. Whores and barkers stood outside buildings, fitting in seamlessly between dice games and pool halls.

Jefferson averted his gaze as a man stumbled past him. The pirate cackled and pressed a bottle into his hand, slapping the portal jumper on the back before stumbling away. Jefferson stared at it for a long moment. The magic on the Island made everything _so_ tempting. The women were beautiful, the games always rigged in the customer's favor- at least at _first_. Once it got its claws into someone, there was no going back. The booze smelled sweet and pungent, but Jefferson didn't dare take a drink. Swallowing, he wet his lips and threw the bottle against the wall a few feet away. The glass shattered in the street, but no one paid it any mind.

The island's magic was powerful and dark and many who found it failed to leave, often without realizing it. Time worked so strangely there. Strange in the sense that it didn't truly _exist _on the Island. It was always the same never ending warm summer night. People didn't age; they just changed. Some grew desperate and turned into skeletons as they gave their earnings back to their debtors. Those who were obsessed with the drink grew bloated and putrid. It was those who sought out violence that got it the worst though. They turned into feral monsters that could only see whatever had been their downfall; completely and utterly obsessed with bloodshed. They were rounded up and forced to fight for the patrons' amusement.

Jefferson had never had much of a stomach for violence. Licking his lips, he thumbed the brim of his hat and fixed the strap of his satchel.

"There he is!"

The young portal jumper jerked at the booming voice. Putting his hat on his head, he spun to face the Coachman.

He was a large man in both weight and height, dressed casually in a red jacket that fell to his knees. His arms were outstretched and his smile was wide on his meaty face. Broad hands fell to Jefferson's shoulders and he gave the Hatter a shake. "So sorry I'm late, my boy. Hope I didn't offend?"

"Of course not." Jefferson smiled at the man. While he didn't know him terribly well, he could say with honesty that he _liked _the Coachman. He'd heard rumors of his ruthlessness, of course, but hadn't seen it personally. "I was just admiring the lovely night."

"If you would stay longer than an hour, you could enjoy it even more," The Coachman teased. He let go of his shoulders, instead steering him inside a large town hall with a hand on the back of his neck.

Jefferson shook his head. "I'm afraid I can't tonight-"

"Duty calls," the older man finished knowingly. "I know how it is, Hatter."

Jefferson supposed he did. The owner of the Island, the Coachman was something of a portal jumper himself. He was the one who sought out new patrons and brought them back to Pleasure Island. The magic couldn't survive without fresh souls to latch on to, after all.

"So..." The older man clapped his thighs as he took a seat at his ornate desk. The redwood was finely crafted and the front etched in thick carvings, clearly expensive and probably cost more than the Hatter would make in a year. "What do you have for me?"

Smirking, the portal jumper pulled out a tightly wrapped bundle from his leather satchel. "I think you'll like this."

The Coachman lifted a brow, but took it from him eagerly.

"Be careful not to touch it," Jefferson warned as the older man pulled a knife from the inside of his red jacket. "They say anyone who sees the creature it came from becomes obsessed…and that it has magical qualities that can produce a similar fever in even the most virtuous of men."

"Well, now I have to have it." The Coachman grinned at him as he set his knife down. Thick fingers carefully lifted the edge of the canvas that encased it. "What is it?"

Leaning over the desk dramatically, Jefferson told him with a hushed voice that rang with all the salesmanship he could muster, "The tooth of the elusive white whale."

"I've never heard of any white whales…where'd you get it?"

The Hatter just smirked.

The older man pursed his lips at him, but his eyes shone with affection. "Fine, fine. Keep your secrets. What do you want for it?"

Jefferson shrugged his shoulders in a manner that was just a touch too casual to be believable. "I was thinking twenty gold pieces, but I'd settle for fifteen."

"For a tooth?" The Coachman asked with a tentative frown and a highly arched thick white brow.

The portal jumper shrugged with a crooked smile. "I did have to cross several less-than-pleasant people to even get here, Coach."

"You drive a hard bargain, Hatter…" The man grinned. As he stood, he offered, "Fifteen pieces, and I give you your own passport."

Jefferson's brows shot up. Pleasure Island was constantly moving- that's how it could be the same night over the course of years at a time. The only way to get to the Island was with a passport. Even his hat wasn't able to take him there at will- he had to catch a ride with one of the Coachman's lesser goons, Gideon, when he wanted to make a deal with him. Stunned and a bit touched, the boy asked, "You'd do that for me?"

"You've earned it."

The young portal jumper beamed at him. "I'd say we have a deal."

The Coachman held out his gloved hand and they shook. Moving over to a thin box, the man opened it and pulled out a thin, inconspicuous looking whistle. With a smirk, he held it out to the Hatter.

"Do you know how to use this?"

Jefferson took it from him. Holding it delicately, he couldn't take his eyes off the shiny black metal as he answered, "Three short calls, right?"

"Mhm." The Coachman smiled fondly at him. It was a pity he hadn't met Jefferson when the boy was younger. When he wasn't quite so hard around the eyes and a bit more supple… blue eyes like that could've fetched a pretty penny. The man hummed and moved to take the boy by the shoulder. "Well. I'm sure you have other business to attend to."

"As a matter of fact, I do." The Hatter allowed himself to be led out of the office and into the main hall.

It was empty, as usual. Not many people dared venture too close to the Coachman and for good reason. "This should be enough room for you to…show yourself out, right?"

Jefferson nodded and the Coachman slapped him on the back. There were no goodbyes between them as the man stepped back into his office and the Hatter opened a portal.

Smirking, the young man thumbed the whistle as he stepped into the Portal of the Doors. Careful fingers slipped it into his satchel. His gaze slipped over to the vial of whale blubber and he decided he may as well make good on his lie. Rumplestiltskin expected him to deliver it to him personally after all- and it didn't hurt to keep the old man on his toes with an unexpected visit. Closing the flap of his bag, he sauntered over to the portal door that matched that of a familiar castle's.

"Do hope I'm not interrupting any- _damn_ _it_." Jefferson's shoulders slumped as he realized his dramatic entrance had been addressed to an empty room. Dropping his hands (which had been flamboyantly spread open, as if waiting to catch the bouquets of roses that would surely be thrown by his adoring employer), he huffed and slammed his hat back on his head.

Voice considerably more irritated, he called, "Hello?! Rumplestiltskin?! Knock, knock! Is anybody home?!"

When no one answered, he stomped his foot before he made his way out of the study. While the Hatter couldn't say he was familiar with the entire castle, he had spent a night or two in one of Rumplestiltskin's numerous empty rooms. Surely the man wouldn't mind if Jefferson got off his feet for a bit. Hands behind his back, the young man pursed his lips as he sauntered aimlessly down the hall.

It was finely decorated, the walls painted a deep green and lined with art and finely crafted trinkets made of, unsurprisingly, gold. A small table sat on the edge, covered in small statues made of porcelain. The Hatter thumbed one of them as he passed by. When he came to the top of a very large staircase, he paused and looked over the edge.

Arista was in the middle of the room on her hands and knees, scrubbing away at the marble floor.

A grin stretched over his lips and Jefferson quickly extinguished it. Biting his lip, he righted his jacket and fixed his hat before he called over the railing. _"Hello down there!"_

The blonde's head whipped up. Surprise playing on her tan features, she gaped at him a moment before she answered- but he was too far away to hear it.

Holding a hand to his ear, the Hatter yelled, "What was that?!"

Her eyes narrowed at him and she made a point of going back to her work. If he didn't have the good sense to come down and speak with her face to face, Arista wasn't going to give him the attention he craved so much. At the sound of his footsteps, a small smile tugged at the young woman's mouth, but she muted it at the sight of his boots.

Brown eyes twinkling with mirth, Arista looked up to find him peering down at her. He looked woefully unimpressed and she beamed at the sight of his scowl. Movements purposely a bit slower than necessary, the blonde stood. Fist over her heart, she gave him a slight nod but didn't bow. Her breasts had been bothering her as of late and jostling them was an unappealing thought. "Jefferson. I didn't know you were visiting today."

"Rumplestiltskin told me to come at my convenience and well…" The portal jumper circled her casually, toeing her discarded scrub brush with distaste. "It was convenient to come."

Arista wiped her soapy hands on her damp skirt. It was made of soft brown cotton and clung to her from her knees down, but she hardly noticed. Quick fingers rose to her braid and she righted it as Jefferson continued to walk around her. Puzzled, she asked what he was doing there. "If you're uninvited, I mean."

"I was invited." He pouted at her back as he circled her once more. It seemed as though all that awe and reverence she had for him in the Portal of the Doors had been a side effect of her guilt. A bit disappointed but not surprised, he sighed, "I _just_ told you I was invited."

"Yes, but not formally," The maiden explained. She spun around to meet his gaze as he continued to circle her. Arista didn't like that one bit- it was a predatory gesture she remembered from the ocean and flared up old instincts that made her want to flee. "And will you stop that?"

Pivoting on his toes, Jefferson came to a stop. His gaze dragged from her svelte legs to her blushing face. An innocent inflection in his voice, he batted his lashes at the young maiden. "Stop what?"

Still, he did as she had asked, so Arista didn't answer. Instead, she did her duty as the lady of the house and held her hands out to him. "May I take your coat? Or perhaps your bag? Mr. Rumplestiltskin is out making a deal and it could be some time before he's back."

The Hatter smirked in amusement. "So formal. Someone must've trained you well."

The blonde faltered a moment. Her hands clenched in a nervous manner before she eased them back to her sides. "Is- is that not the custom on land? I thought…I thought it was universal to make guests comfortable?"

"Oh no." Jefferson shook his head playfully. With pursed, disapproving lips, he told her, "You're supposed to alienate them so they leave quicker."

Her wide brown eyes blinked with wonder. "Oh."

He snickered at her appalled features. "You realize I'm not serious?"

Arista blushed a fiery red and fisted the material of her scaly dress. Forcing a smile, she swallowed and nodded before she stepped around him. "Come. Let's get you something to eat then."

When he noticed how stiff she was, Jefferson eased beside her. Giving her side a light nudge with his elbow, the young man told her, "I was only teasing."

"Right." She nodded, eyes firmly ahead of her.

He pulled the hat from his head. Fiddling with the brim, he eyed her quiet features with distaste. Arista was pretty- beautiful even, but it seemed as though he only ever made her scowl. "There's no need to be so sensitive."

Arista winced as she led him into a large kitchen. It seemed as though being _sensitive_ was just as frowned upon on land as it was in the ocean. Holding the door open for him, she bent her knees in a quick nervous manner. The man eyed her with trepidation, but slipped inside without a word.

The air was clean and warm, the food all pre-made and Jefferson wondered whether it had been summoned by magic or if the Dark One had a knack for the culinary arts. Surely the maiden in front of him didn't, seeing how she had probably seen her first oven only a month ago.

Curious, he picked up a piece of bread. He thumbed the crust of it. It was fresh and crisp. It had been a while since he'd eaten- maybe a day or two, if he had to guess. It was impossible to tell how long he had been on Pleasure Island, but now that he was no longer affected by its magic, he knew it had been quite a while. He lifted it to his nose. Inhaling the tantalizing scent, Jefferson's mouth watered as he asked, "And Rumplestiltskin won't mind?"

"Mind what?" She asked, curious as to how he was caressing the small loaf and his hesitance. Not wanting to ask and be made fun of again, the blonde merely moved around a small island to fetch a bottle of wine.

Jefferson followed her, hopping up on the counter and ignoring the small puff of flour that clung to his coat. "Pillaging his kitchen?"

"I don't see why he would." The maiden pulled a goblet out of one of the many cupboards and frowned at the sight of him on the counter. Still, she offered it to him without comment. It was of simple style and made of gold and Jefferson noticed that she had pulled out a matching one for herself. Pouring the wine, first for him and then for herself, Arista watched as Jefferson took a tentative sip. When he nodded his approval, she said, "He told me I'm always welcome to the kitchen. I don't see why that wouldn't apply to guests as well."

Smirking into his goblet, the man asked, "Oh, you don't?"

"No?" The blonde blinked at him, a curious crease in her brow as he chuckled. "I don't understand what's funny."

Jefferson shook his head. Her bemusement was cute.

Arista faltered, unsure why he was so set on making her feel stupid. Fisting the bottom of her tail dress with one hand, she took a small sip of the wine. A grimace pulled at her lips. She didn't totally understand humans' fascination with wine, either. The concept of drinking fermented (_rotten_) fruits was just disgusting, but Arista supposed if she wanted to belong, she best assimilate and get used to it. Her gaze flickered around the kitchen for something sweet, but was disappointed when nothing came across her line of vision.

"So. Arista." The man pulled his leg up to rest the heel of his shoe on the counter. The young woman looked at him as though he'd gone mad and pleased by her attention, Jefferson grinned. "How're you enjoying being Mr. Rumplestiltskin's maid?"

"I find housework tedious but rewarding. Although I could do without strange uninvited men trailing mud throughout the halls." She gave his feet a pointed glance and slapped his knee. "And the kitchen."

Biting into the bread a bit more violently than necessary, the portal jumper reminded her, "You invited me in here."

"I didn't think you'd..." Arista faltered. Biting her lip in embarrassment, she tried desperately to remember the right word.

"You didn't think I'd…?" Jefferson prompted, kicking his feet off the counter to lean forward.

She shook her head and busied herself with her wine.

"Something wrong, mermaid?" The Hatter teased with a smile. "Have I disturbed your delicate ocean going sensibilities with my wild human ways?"

Her brown eyes sharpened at him. "You have problems."

Jefferson shrugged nonchalantly. Taking another sip of his wine, he swallowed thickly and replied with a brisk, "I'm aware."

"Mental problems," The maiden expanded with a pout. Fingers tangling in her skirt once more, Arista took the goblet from him. Slamming it down beside him, she ignored the wine that sloshed over the rim as she snapped, "And your civilities are atrocious. Even to a stupid _fish_."

"That's hurtful," The man told her. He played nonchalant well, hardly blinking at her pink cheeks and somber eyes. Still, his jaw twitched with disappointment at the sight of them. "I thought you said it was customary to be kind to guests?"

"That only applies to guests who deserve to be treated with kindness."

Jefferson frowned at her. Lips pursed, he hopped off the counter. Arista took an instinctive step back in a jerky movement that made his stomach clench. Her hand dropped from her dress, fingers poised to strike in a manner that would've been considerably more threatening had she her claws. The Hatter eased his hand into hers, ignoring her confusion and hesitance as he laced their fingers together.

"I didn't mean to offend." Jefferson gave her fingers a light squeeze. "I was only teasing."

Arista's features didn't soften. Through grit teeth, she told him, "Well, I don't like it."

"So I gathered." She flinched at his sarcasm and Jefferson sighed. "I've overstayed my welcome."

The maiden lifted a delicate shoulder in a passive manner. "It's not my place to say."

"Well, you live here, so I'd say it is." The Hatter trailed his thumb over hers. "I truly didn't mean to offend."

The woman dropped her gaze. Swallowing, she smoothed the bottom of her scaled skirt. "I shouldn't be so sensitive. I know it's…problematic."

Jefferson gave her fingers another squeeze. "There's nothing wrong with being sensitive."

Arista said nothing, just peered down at their entwined hands. She stared at them a long moment, puzzled as to why he felt the need to touch her so intimately. Vaguely, Rumplestiltskin's warning came back to her; "_You know what they say about little boys who pick on pretty girls_." The maiden had been confused by her employer's amusement, but she was fairly certain she was starting to understand. Her gaze flickered up to Jefferson's.

The man was staring down at her in a manner that immediately put her on edge. His blue eyes were soft and earnest, completely lacking in the jovial glint they'd had when he had mocked her. Arista's stomach dropped as she realized he was attracted to her. Disturbed, she pulled her hand away from his. Wiping it on her skirt, she cleared her throat and looked away from him.

"I should go." Jefferson cleared his throat and slipped his hat back on. With a hint of a smirk on his lips, he ignored the sting of her rejection and held up the loaf of bread. "Mind if I take this for the trip?"

"Not at all! Here, let me pack you something for the…" Arista clenched her jaw as the word once again failed to come to mind. She tried to use the associative tip Mr. Rumplestiltskin had taught her; thinking of carriages being pulled along it by large animals, picturing people walking down it and it being paved with cobblestones, but the word didn't come. Embarrassed, she shrugged and finished with a lame, "Let me pack you a bag."

Jefferson shook a hand at her. "There's no need."

"Jefferson. I haven't exactly been a gracious host. Let me pack you something for the road." Her eyes lit up and she beamed at him. Grabbing him by the rose detailed lapels, the maiden gave him a happy shake. "Let me pack you something for the _road!"_

Blinking at her sudden exuberance, the man nodded with a hint of uncertainty. "Uh- alright, if you insist."

She let him go with a proud smile and spun on her heel to find him something he could take with him.

The thought of having to deal with suitors on land was a troubling one. Humans were kind of…strange looking, especially the males and the one behind her seemed somewhat shifty and maybe a little immature, in her opinion, but she had dealt with unwanted male attention most of her life. An aftereffect of her position. Males had been vying for her attention for as long as she could remember and she had hoped her time on land would be a reprieve from that.

Plucking a waterskin off the shelf, she turned back to face him.

Jefferson's gaze snapped from her legs (where the fabric was slowly drying and starting to pull away from her skin, much to his disappointment) to her face. He offered her the bottle of wine before he slipped his hands behind his back. Rocking on his heels, he asked, "Are you always so excited to take out the trash?"

A crease formed in her brow as she poured the red liquid carefully into the skin. "Pardon?"

"Never mind."

She squinted at him with doubt, but stayed quiet. Tightening the cap on the waterskin, she handled it to him before she turned to gather a handkerchief.

Jefferson slung the strap of the skin over his shoulder. "Do you have any plans for the evening?"

Arista shook her head. She took the half-eaten loaf of bread and put it inside, along with some cheese and a few pieces of jerked meat. "I suppose I'll wait for Mr. Rumplestiltskin to come back. From there on, it's his decision what I do."

Jefferson blushed at that. He hadn't forgotten how the Dark One had wrapped his hand around the woman's waist, how he had smirked at the Hatter and teased him about his (very tiny) crush. Fiddling with the brim of his hat, he leaned casually against the counter. "You seem awfully fond of him."

"I suppose that's because I am."

He blinked and looked away from her. "Oh. I didn't realize the two of you were…" He trailed off expectantly. Glancing back at her, he perked his brows suggestively and pursed his lips.

"Were what?" Arista asked, glancing up from the bundle. When she realized he was pouting, the young woman rolled her eyes. Tying the handkerchief, she slid it across the counter to him. "I don't think he would appreciate the implication, if you're implying what I think you are."

"So the two of you…_don't?_"

With a hint of amusement, she shook her head. "Don't."

A smile stretched over his lips. Jefferson tipped his hat back so he could see her better. When her features remained passive, he looked away. As he slid the bundle into his satchel, he shrugged nonchalantly. "I really should be on my way."

"Shall I walk you out?"

"I'd like that." Jefferson offered his arm.

With a roll of her eyes, Arista took it. He covered her hand with his own and led her out of the kitchen. Brown eyes drifted to his face as they made their way toward the staircase. Jefferson was a good looking man, she supposed. His features were symmetrical and his eyes were a pretty shade of blue, but she simply couldn't get past the concept of shaving. It made him look younger than he already was (Rumplestiltskin had said he was barely out of his teenage years, whatever _that_ meant) and _younger_ didn't translate to _desirable_ where she was from.

The man glanced down at her and Arista quickly straightened her gaze. Smirking, he asked if everything was alright.

"Human tendencies are so strange."

Jefferson's lips tugged into a smile. Ushering her up the stairs, he agreed, "Yes they are."

"I suppose human women would probably find such things acceptable. Even appealing, but I just cannot fathom being…" She rolled her head from side to side as she fretted over the word. Turning to face him on the step below her own, she fiddled with her fingertips as she explained, "_Attracted_ to someone so different from myself, from what I'm accustom to."

Her words stung, but they were delivered with soft sincerity. The Hatter nodded. "I suppose I understand that."

"Which is why I don't think I could be with someone like Mr. Rumplestiltskin, or really any human." Arista bit her lip and tightened her braid. Brown eyes pleading for him to understand, she didn't dare shift her gaze from his as she told him, "We'd be incompatible."

Jefferson joined her on the step. Tilting his hat back once more, he offered her a weak smile. "He told you."

"I don't mean to be cruel-"

The man chuckled at the idea of the genial maiden in front of him being cruel. Shaking his head, the portal jumper pulled her hand from her hair. After pressing a light kiss to the back of it, he let her go. "Maybe I'll change your mind once we get to know each other better."

The blonde looked doubtful. She wasn't entirely sure what the hell he had just done to her hand, but she had enjoyed it, so she didn't complain.

"And if I don't…" He shrugged a glib shoulder. "Then we can stick to a strictly professional partnership... If you'll still have me."

A grin pulled at the corner of her mouth. Suitors rarely took rejection so well in the ocean. Nodding, Arista ignored the faint blush rising on her own cheeks and bit her bottom lip. The feel of his stubble against her skin had reminded her of the grit of sand, reminded her of home and she felt a pang of affection for the young human before her. After a moment, she nodded more firmly. "I'd like that."

"Seal it with a kiss?" Jefferson leaned in with an impish smile and cackled as she gave him a light shove. "Kidding! I was kidding!"

Arista shook her head. She didn't know what a _kiss_ was, but she knew he wasn't about to get one. Smiling, the maiden turned back to lead him up the stairs. She supposed his lack of force stemmed from some kind of human policy she was unaccustomed to. In the sea, women were rarely treated with such respect after having turned down a suitor. The mermaid rather liked it. Over her shoulder, she teased, "Does this mean we're friends?"

Jefferson shrugged, lips pursed nonchalantly as he fixed the strap of the waterskin on his shoulder. "Well, if you want to put a label on it-"

"I do," The maiden chirped as they reached the top of the stairs. Peering down into his blue eyes, Arista felt a pang of warmth for the young man in front of her. Perhaps things could be different for her on land.

The Hatter grinned at her, enjoying the light in her eyes. "Then I suppose we are."

**A/N: Shout out to my wonderful beta _UnsightlyDreams_ and my reviewers! _BigBadWolfTardis, winchesterxgirl, Kira Tsumi, NicoleR85_; I love you guys. If I've missed anyone, it's because I don't know how to make guest reviews show up and I'm sorry. **


	7. Chapter 7

It was a beautiful summer morning when Rumplestiltskin woke to screaming.

The Dark One bolted up in the bed. Before he was fully awake, he yelled, "Bae?!"

As the realization that it couldn't be his son because his son was _gone_ dawned on him, the man's shoulders slumped. The screaming continued. Puzzled, the imp pursed his lips and listened a moment.

"_Mr. Rumplestiltskin!"_

With an "_oh"_ of understanding and a dramatic snap of his fingers, he remembered he had a little mermaid on the third floor. Rising out of bed, Rumplestiltskin dressed at a leisurely pace. The yelling continued, but he was hardly concerned. Arista was new to the human world after all- little things still upset her. Straightening his jacket, he made his way down to her room, fully expecting to be greeted with the young woman fussing over some kind of insect.

Instead, he was met with the sight of blood.

Rumplestiltskin frowned as Arista fisted the hem of her modest nightgown. Her face wet with tears, she growled and tugged at her knickers. When her fingers came back red, she continued to scream.

His gaze drifted from the trail of red liquid between her legs to the stained sheets on the bed.

_No_. No, he was _not _properly equipped to deal with this at all. In all his years, in all his world experiences, nothing had prepared him for _this_. There had to be someone else who could deal with the horrors before him; Regina maybe. It really would be in everyone's best interest if he went to fetch her. Slowly, he tried to back out of the room, but it was too late. Arista had seen him.

Brown eyes narrowing at his cowardice, she snapped at him, "What is it?! Why is this happening?! I've been careful! I've done everything you said- why am I bleeding?!"

The Dark One's shoulders fell. Covering his lips with his index finger, he considered what to say for a moment. The young woman continued to glare and fuss with her night dress, obviously terrified as she looked at the blood on her hands. A hint of pity pulled at him, but the man quickly pushed it aside. "It's…your monthly bleeding."

"It's my _what?!_" Arista shuffled out of her underwear and lifted her sleeping gown up. Peering curiously at the seam between her legs, she stared in horror. She understood that waste came out of her lower half and admittedly, she had enjoyed getting to know the more… _sensitive_ parts of her human body, but why was it mad at her?! She had been good to it! She had done wonderful things to the seam between her legs and now it was spitting blood out like an angry sea cucumber. "Where is it coming from?!"

Eyes wide, Rumplestiltskin quickly spun away from her. Hands over his face, he told her, "Your vagina. Now put your dress down."

"My _what?!_" What the hell was a vagina?! She had signed on for legs! Nowhere in their agreement had there been anything about bloody vaginas! "Why is this happening?!"

"It just means you're…" Rumplestiltskin rolled his wrist, but kept one hand firmly over his eyes. Just because the blonde had no concept of human modesty didn't mean he had a right to take advantage. Besides, he really didn't want to see so much of his little assistant. Not now, not _ever_. "Capable of having children. It will happen every month, so you best get used to it, dearie."

Arista stared at his back. "What?!"

"Sorry." The imp shrugged nonchalantly. "Drawback of human femininity, I'm afraid."

"But- I didn't do anything!" The woman argued. She dropped her dress and moved to sit on the bed. Frowning, she looked at the trail of blood between her legs bitterly. "Why am I being punished?"

"It's not a punishment." Rumplestiltskin chanced a glance back at her. At the sight of her covered and sitting pretty on the bed, he let his hands fall. Smirking at the girl's sulking, he warned her, "The punishment will come should you ever miss it, I assure you."

Brown eyes blinked back at him. Fear had drained from her features and left her curious. A glance down at her sticky bloodstained fingers made her wrinkle her nose. "So, I'm not dying?"

"Well, we're all dying, Arista."

The blonde glared at him as she wiped her hand on the sheets she sat on.

"But no, you're perfectly healthy." The man waved his hand. "Now let us never speak of this again."

"But what am I supposed to do about…?" Arista gestured between her legs. "You must have something to aid in the process?"

Rumplestiltskin stared at her. Surely she wasn't expecting what he thought she was expecting. "I beg your pardon?"

"I need something to make it stop," She clarified. "A spell, a potion, a trick. You must have something."

He frowned at the use of the word _trick _in referral to his abilities. "I'm afraid only time will do that, dearie."

"But I can't go on like this!" She wailed, collapsing back on the bed. Rolling onto her stomach, she threw an arm over her head. "I'll be dead by morning!"

The Dark One rolled his eyes. "It's only for a few days! Quit being so _dramatic_!"

Frankly, her insolence was a little grating but he supposed it was well deserved. The girl had been no doubt thrown by the sudden… _changes _her body was going through. Perhaps there was a very good chance Rumplestiltskin was to blame, but in his defense, it had never occurred to him that she was a fully grown _woman_. The little mermaid had always been just that- _little_. Little more than a child in his eyes, little more than a pet. Not an independent person with independent bodily functions.

It was disappointing; her womanhood. Rumplestiltskin had enjoyed her innocence and sincere ways. They reminded him of Baelfire. Half the reason the imp had even allowed the fish into his home was because she was so much like his son. So soft-hearted and excitable. Bae had been too young when they parted for Rumplestiltskin to even begin to worry about giving him the talk. Now not only was he faced with the prospect of giving it to Arista, but he also had to play the role of _mother_, not father.

"I am _bleeding_ from my _vagina!_" The woman squeaked at him. Glaring at the ornate wooden bed frame, she asked, "What in Ursula's tentacles is a _vagina_ anyway?!"

"It's the seam between your legs."

"I know! But why is it _bleeding_?" Her head snapped off the mattress. Spinning onto her side, Arista huffed as she propped herself up on one hand. Ignoring how Rumplestiltskin made a point of looking away as a generous portion of her chest came into view, the maiden explained, "I have been nothing but good to my vagina. It should revere me as a god for the things I have done to it."

The man faltered. After a beat and with a blink, he decided to ignore that little omission about her masturbatory exerts. There were some things an employer simply need not know about when it came to his servants. Disturbed by the thought of Arista having a sex drive of any kind, he answered her direct question, "A mix of hormones and a lack of sex, mostly."

Arista swallowed and nodded. Not sure what _sex_ was, she felt she probably shouldn't ask given how he had twiddled his fingers in disgust at the word. Still nervously fisting the material of her nightgown, she asked, "But I can't walk around bleeding like this. I'll die."

"You won't die. It's not actually _bleeding_. You're not injured." Rumplestiltskin pursed his lips and gave her knee a quick, hesitant pat before walking away. Wrinkling his nose, he told her, "I'll find someone to properly assist you with your…new found womanhood."

And that was why Arista was introduced to Regina.

"So, she's never…you know, before?" The young brunette asked curiously. She chanced another glance into the room where the blonde sat. "She seems awfully…mature, for this to be her first time."

"What part of _mermaid_ are you misunderstanding, your Highness?"

Regina lifted a confused shoulder with a small, nervous smile. "I've never met a mermaid before."

"And I'm sorry you have to now." Rumplestiltskin wrinkled his nose in distaste. "Horrid creatures, but they serve their purpose. Now, why don't you go serve yours and share your pearls of womanly wisdom with the little fish while I go prepare for our lesson, hm?"

The Queen faltered. "Are you going to introduce us?"

"Please. You're old enough to make friends on your own, Regina." He smiled cruelly at her. "You do know what those are, don't you?"

The brunette woman glared at him, but her colored cheeks spoke volumes. Squaring her shoulders, Regina righted the bottom of her brown leather corset and strode into the room.

Arista looked up from the anatomy tome in her hands. Blinking with surprise, the blonde offered the stranger a warm smile. "You must be Regina?"

"I am," the Queen told her with a hint of unease. She approached with caution, reminding herself that mermaids were dangerous and not to be trusted, although this one hardly seemed to fit the stereotype. "Which must make you Arista."

The mermaid stood and offered her a bow with a fist over her heart. When she straightened, a grin crossed her lips and she all but skipped over to the newcomer. She didn't have much experience with humans, with Rumplestiltskin and Jefferson being her only companions (and admittedly the only humans she'd _ever _met). Not noticing (or perhaps ignoring) the distressed glance Regina gave the door, the blonde took her by the shoulders. "I've never met a woman before! Well, not a human one anyway. Come in, come in!"

Regina faltered as the young blonde led her deeper into her bedroom. It was sparsely decorated with a large map of the Enchanted Forest over her cherry wood headboard and little else in the way of wall art. A series of large books lay open on her bed, along with scattered pages that had been ripped out. Arista kept the Queen clear of it, instead leading her to the small desk by the bay window. The brunette arched a brow as the blonde ushered her to sit- all the while trying to process what it was Arista was blabbering about.

"You're beautiful! You look like one of my elder sisters!" Wide brown eyes inspected the stranger as Arista crouched. Her gaze flickered from the woman's high cheek bones and pale skin to the deep swell of her breasts. Most of her anatomy seemed similar, at least in surface appearance, to her own, the mermaid noticed. "Are all humans as pretty as you? Why is your skin so different from Mr. Rumplestiltskin's?"

Regina pulled back slightly in her seat, but didn't move. Sudden movements around an erratic mermaid seemed like a bad idea. Forcing a smile, the human cleared her throat. "Thank you. That's very kind of you to say and I don't know. About… _Mr_. Rumplestiltskin, or many humans, for that matter."

"Oh." Arista deflated a moment.

A hint of amusement pulled at Regina's lips. "I'm sorry to disappoint?"

"Not at all!" The maiden assured her. Waving her hands in front of Regina, she beamed. "How could I be disappointed?! I have a real, live _human_ woman before my very eyes! I never thought I'd see the day!"

"They don't have human women where you're from?"

"Not that I've ever seen." Arista stood and slipped behind her. Inspecting the ornate braid the woman wore in her black hair, she ignored how Regina stiffened. "My father said there used to be a few lady pirates, but not in my lifetime."

"So you _are _from Neverland then?"

"Mhm." Arista nodded and tiptoed back in front of her. "Terribly droll place, especially underwater."

"Really? I always heard it was the pinnacle of excitement." The Queen watched the young blonde right the bottom of her strange, scaled dress. It hit her immodestly high on her thighs, Regina noticed, but didn't comment. At least she had a petticoat underneath. Regina was more than a bit disturbed by the small spot of blood that stained it, however. Regina quickly righted her eyes to Arista's. "Full of pirates and mermaids and jungle."

Arista considered it for a moment before nodding. "I suppose to a human it might be. Just as being on land is so exotic to me." Biting her bottom lip, she chanced a glance at the door. It was empty, just as it had been when Regina entered, but Arista still thought it best to make sure they were alone before she asked the question that had been preying on her mind. "May…I mean, I know you're here because of my monthly bleeding, but…may I ask you something before we start?"

"How about we deal with this," Regina offered gently as she stood. Taking the blonde by the arms, she smiled softly. "And then I'll answer any questions you have."

"Really?!"

The brunette nodded, a bit amused and a bit saddened by Arista's eagerness. It was clear the mermaid was desperate for companionship. Regina could relate to that. "Really."

After an extremely thorough conversation about Arista's new anatomy and how she could cope with the horrors of the female body, the mermaid changed into one of the devices Regina had brought with her. Now dressed in trousers and wearing a sanitary napkin, Arista was considerably more comfortable. Regina took the opportunity to steer the topic away from what was between their legs.

Conversation flowed easily between them. Regina, who had been feeling rather alienated from the public since she had married the King, relished in the chance to have someone treat her as a _person_ and not just the Queen. She asked the blonde if she liked being on land, if she was enjoying being able to walk and run and how she was adjusting to life without gills. In return, Arista offered the human her warm personality; she asked the brunette what she did for fun, about the carriage she had rode in on. As time wore on, their words became a bit more intimate, a bit more somber and Arista found herself asking how Regina had been raised and if her childhood had been as restricted as her own.

"My mother is- _was_ rather controlling," Regina admitted. Fingers finding the hem of the sheet they sat on, she fidgeted with it as she shrugged. "She just wanted what's best for me..."

"So long as what's best for you is what she wants." Arista finished for her. The brunette met the mermaid's sad gaze and the blonde offered her a limp smile. "My father is a very paranoid man. Well meaning, perhaps, but domineering."

"I guess things aren't so different in the sea as they are on land."

A small smile tugged at Arista's lips as she thought of Jefferson and how well he had taken her rejection. He was incredibly different from anything she had ever encountered before. There had been no name calling at her refusal of his courtship. No snarls or violence or threats of defamation. Just a soft brush of her mouth against her knuckles and a vow to try and convince her to change her mind. She remembered how his eyes had sparkled and how he had grinned up at her and felt her stomach tighten. It was an unfamiliar feeling, and while it wasn't a physical attraction, Arista knew it was _something_.

The brunette's voice cut through her thoughts. Teasing, Regina asked, "What's that?"

Arista blinked at Regina's sly smile. A faint flush covering her tan cheeks, she batted her lashes innocently. "What's what?"

"That smile."

"What smile?" The young mermaid asked with a hint of mischief in her eyes.

"That one you were just wearing." The Queen grinned. "Wasn't there something you wanted to ask me earlier?"

Arista crossed her legs and shuffled closer. She glanced at the door (still empty, from what she could see) and bit her lip. "Can you keep a secret?"

Regina's face grew grim. She thought of Daniel and Snow and swallowed the rage and sadness that welled in her throat as she croaked out, "Yes. Better than anyone."

The blonde nodded. The change emotion didn't go unnoticed by her, but she didn't press the topic. Instead, she whispered, "What does it mean…when a man puts his mouth on you?"

Regina's brown eyes went very wide. "Well, where?!"

Arista held up the back of her hand. "Here."

The Queen let out a relieved chuckle. "Oh. Well, it could mean a lot of things."'

The mermaid deflated somewhat. "Oh."

"Did someone kiss your hand?" Regina asked coyly. A grin stretched over her lips, amused and warm. "Is that what's got you in a tizzy?"

"A kiss?" The word was familiar. Jefferson had asked her for one. "Is that what it was?"

"It certainly sounds like it." The dark haired woman tilted her head. She had thought the only company the little mermaid had was Rumplestiltskin, who admittedly didn't strike her as much of a ladies' man. "Why? Who kissed you?"

Again, the mermaid blushed. Lifting a casual, disinterested shoulder, Arista told her, "There's a man. He does deals with Mr. Rumplestiltskin sometimes. I've been told he's attracted to me."

"Is he now?" Regina could certainly see why. The young woman before her was lovely. She was exactly how Regina had pictured mermaids in her youth, with her waves of blonde hair and large brown eyes. Wide cheek bones gave her a slightly exotic look but not inhuman and Regina wondered vaguely how much of the blonde's appearance changed when she was in her other form.

"That's what Mr. Rumplestiltskin says."

The woman blinked with disturbed surprise. "What is he, your matchmaker?"

"He says I shouldn't indulge his romantic sentiments." Arista bit her lip, slightly worried and perhaps a little sad. "He says Jefferson is nothing but trouble."

The name was unfamiliar to Regina, but she smiled regardless. "Jefferson, huh? What's he like?"

"Well, frankly, he's a bit of a snapper." Arista shrugged. "But he can be nice and he seems to respect me. He's just so damn strange looking."

The brunette blinked. Having no idea what the man looked like, she offered, "There's more to attraction than physical appearance."

"I know. It's just…human men are weird looking." The blonde flopped back on her bed. Voice a bit quieter, she admitted, "He has pretty eyes though."

Regina nodded knowingly. "It's always the eyes."

"Well!" The women jumped at the sudden appearance of Rumplestiltskin. He twittered his fingers at them and cackled. "Is our little, uh, problem taken care of?"

Regina and Arista shared a sheepish smile.

Not waiting for verbal confirmation, the man beamed. "Good! So glad to hear it! Now, if you're done with your henpecking, I do believe we have a lesson, don't we, your Highness?"

The brunette faltered a moment. She waited for Arista to react, for her to be surprised or scandalized by her title, but the blonde merely smiled warmly at her. Puzzled, but pleased, Regina stood. "Yes, we do."

"Thank you again, Regina." Arista pulled the woman into a tight embrace. "I'm truly grateful for all you've taught me."

"Happy to help," The Queen replied with a smirk as she pulled back. Winking at the blonde, Regina told her, "If you ever need to talk again, I'm sure Rumplestiltskin will be happy to point you in my direction." Her dark eyes went to the Dark One's. "Won't you?"

The man frowned a moment, not liking this development at all. Women would be the death of him, he was sure of it. Still, he clapped his hands and forced a wide smile. "Of course!"

Arista beamed and hugged Regina a bit tighter before letting go.

**A/N: Some things simply must be established in a mermaid fic. Periods are one of them. Sorry for the long wait! Shout out to my beta **_**UnsightlyDreams**_** and my lovely reviewers! **


	8. Chapter 8

In the Dark One's castle, things had cooled considerably between its two inhabitants. After a few awkward days, things had settled between Rumplestiltskin and his ward, but he was now faced with a new problem.

While exposing Arista to Regina had seemed like a good idea at the time, the young mermaid was now somewhat obsessed with the Queen . She was constantly asking about how she was doing, inquiring about her health and well-being and, worst of all, asking to see her. In the past, Rumplestiltskin had always been able to deflect her need to explore with warnings of the horrors that swept the land. He had told her about wild beasts and disgusting insects and the heavy terrain. He had warned her about lecherous men and people who would take advantage of her. Unfortunately, these tales only seemed to instill more curiosity in the mermaid.

Pointing a stern finger at her, Rumplestiltskin didn't look up from the passage he was reading as he finished his speech with a firm, "And _that_ is why you can't go into the woods by yourself."

Completely enrapt in his story, Arista blinked at her master. Her cheeks in her hands, she knelt by his desk with her elbows propped on it in a way that reminded him of a small child and not a woman of, _ugh_, child bearing age. "What's a bear?"

"Something that wants to eat you."

She tilted her head, brown eyes fluttering with curiosity. "And a cougar?"

Rumplestiltskin smirked. "Something that wants to eat _me_. Now why the sudden interest in forestry, my dear?"

"Well, you had no problem with me going to the creek…" The blonde shifted restlessly. The castle was beautiful, sure, but it was slowly reminding her of a cage. Swallowing, she considered her words carefully as she continued, "So I was thinking, maybe I could go a little further next time. Not much, just a little further-"

Her master cut her off with a brisk, "No."

The mermaid visibly deflated. Shoulders slumping and features sad, she tried again, "I just thought-"

"Arista, you can barely walk. Do you really want to go traipsing around the woods? It's full of dead logs and long grass," He told her with a false concern. The Dark One hadn't forgotten the condition in which his little mermaid had returned in from her trip to Neverland and he wasn't about to make that mistake again. Mermaids were a dime a dozen, but finding one willing to steal from their own king? Not nearly so common. Watching her stand with a hint of annoyance, Rumplestiltskin shook his head mournfully. "You could hurt yourself, dearie."

She fidgeted with the bottom of her dress. "But I'll never get any better at it if I have to stay here."

Faking a pout, he asked, "Don't you like it here?"

"I love it here, Mr. Rumplestiltskin, you know that. It's just… Maybe you could come with me. Show me around." Arista smiled warmly at him. Excitement creeping into her voice, she bounced slightly on her toes. "Or Regina! She seems like she knows how to handle herself."

"You'd be surprised about just how wrong you are, dearie." The Dark One's smile turned dark and cruel. "The answer is _no_ and that's final."

Bowing her head in respect, the young woman resisted the urge to sigh with disappointment. Instead, she leaned forward with her fist on her chest. "Very well, sir. I didn't mean to push."

"Don't worry about it." Rumplestiltskin waved a dismissive hand. "Have you finished your chores?"

"Yes."

"Then you're free to do as you please." The corner of his mouth quirked up into a somewhat malicious smirk. "So long as it's inside these castle walls, pet."

Arista resisted the urge to glare at him. Fiddling with the hem of her dress, she was a bit unsettled by how similar his words were to that of her father's. Half the reason she had left the ocean was for freedom. Now not only was she alone in a strange land, but Arista was also being denied the chance to explore it. Worse still, the young blonde feared that was _exactly _what she had become to the man before her; a _pet_.

She had only just bowed for him once more when a familiar man appeared by Rumplestiltskin's side.

Jefferson smiled complacently, first at her and then the Dark One. Dropping an elbow to the back of Rumplestiltskin's chair, he popped a hip and greeted them with a beguile, "Morning, folks."

After Arista's rejection, Jefferson decided it was time to step up his game. His usual flirting was clearly not going to work with the little mermaid- it was probably too foreign to her. He had vaguely considered going to Neverland in hopes of finding a pirate and learning more about mermaid culture, but he quickly nixed that idea. Pirates weren't exactly known for their romantic nature and they were rarely in good standing with the sea going folk. So he decided to go with the age old standard- flattery… and possibly bribery, but mostly flattery.

The mermaid blinked in surprise. He had, quite literally, appeared from thin air. There had been no purple smoke or gusts of winds that had been present in their trips to and from Neverland. She had been under the impression that the hat came with all the dramatics of its master. Pushing aside her curiosity, she offered the young man a small bow. "Jefferson."

"Arista!" The Hatter greeted her warmly. He pulled his hat from his head and smoothed his hair down before tucking it under his arm. Ignoring Rumplestiltskin's eye roll, he kicked away from the older man's chair and sauntered toward the blonde. As he took her hands in his own, Jefferson asked, "What's new, beautiful?"

The mermaid lifted a casual, somewhat proud shoulder. "I got my period."

Jefferson's brows perked up. Surprised and a bit disturbed by how pleased she seemed with herself, he inclined his head. "Well. Isn't that nice."

Rumplestiltskin rolled his eyes at the Hatter's pathetic attempts at flirtation. "Hatter, aren't you forgetting someone?"

"No. No, I don't think I am unless…" The portal jumper snapped his fingers, but kept the blonde's hand cradled with his own. Thumbing the back of her knuckles, Jefferson beamed at Rumplestiltskin. "You're referring to my most wondrous employer."

"I am." The Dark One frowned at how gently the young man was holding his servant's hand, but didn't comment. The less interest he showed, the more likely the Hatter was to stop his silly game. Surely the boy hadn't forgotten their brief conversation regarding the little mermaid. Forcing down the swell of irritation he felt at Jefferson's coquetry, Rumplestiltskin asked, "Did you get what I need?"

"Of course!" Jefferson offered his arm to Arista. With a wink, he asked the blonde, "Walk me to your master, my lovely one?"

Arista took his arm, puzzled and flustered by his flattery. Eyes narrowing with suspicion, she recalled his promises to woo her. With a hint of amusement, she rolled her eyes and linked her arm with his. "I am _not_ your lovely."

"My darling?" He offered in a stage whisper.

She shook her head, blonde curls moving gently under her head band. "Or that."

"My sweet one?" Jefferson gave her hip a light check with his own and purposely slowed his footsteps to a near standstill pace. Pointedly ignoring the scoff Rumplestiltskin gave him, the man enjoyed the faint blush on Arista's cheeks.

The young woman sighed at him, unlinking their arms as they stopped before their employer. "Please stop, you're embarrassing the both of us."

Lack of dignity aside, Jefferson peered down at her fondly. "Then what should I call you?"

"My name will be most suitable, Jefferson." Righting the bottom of her scale dress, she quickly moved away from the portal jumper to stand by Rumplestiltskin's side.

The young man smirked at her, but muted his amusement as he stepped forward to greet the Dark One. As his nimble fingers undid his studded satchel, he said , "I come bearing gifts, Rumplestiltskin."

"So I assumed." The imp sat up. Waving a dismissive hand at the mermaid beside him, he ordered, "Arista, leave us."

The blonde nodded obediently and skirted around the desk. With a smirk, she inclined her head to the Hatter. "Jefferson. I'm glad to see you're in good health."

"Before you go," He caught her upper arm in a gentle hold. At her puzzled features, Jefferson smirked. "I brought something for you as well, _Arista_."

"You did?" Both employer and employee asked with surprise. Admittedly, where Arista's voice had been excited, Rumplestiltskin's seemed to carry a bit of dread.

The portal jumper nodded. "I did." Grinning outright, he let go of the young woman and cleared his throat dramatically. Swooping his gaze over to Rumplestiltskin, he forced his expression to become a more neutral pout. "If, of course, it's alright with your master that I bestow his lovely assistant with a gift?"

The Dark One glared at him as Arista turned, earnest and elated, with her hands clasped in front of her. Sighing, he rolled his eyes and agreed, "I suppose so long as you don't make a habit of it, Hatter. We wouldn't want her getting spoiled now, would we?"

Jefferson smirked. Instead of replying, he eased a long stem rose out of the satchel. With a bow, he offered it to the blonde. Vaguely, he hoped none of his eagerness played on his face as he bit his bottom lip. When she gifted him with a bright, jubilant smile, the portal jumper relaxed.

"A flower, Jefferson?_ Really?_" Rumplestiltskin asked with a bit of sarcastic amusement. "Could you be more cliché?"

The younger man blushed.

Casting their employer a displeased glance, the maiden offered Jefferson a consoling touch on the arm. "It's beautiful, Jefferson. I've never seen a…_flower_, like this before."

It was true; while Arista didn't exactly have an extensive knowledge of land vegetation, she really had never seen a flower quite like this one. With petals like velvet and dual in color, it was a curious, but beautiful blossom. The outer rim of the petals were a sable shade of red and the inside the purest of white.

"Please tell me that's not what I think it is," Rumplestiltskin asked from behind the desk.

Jefferson smirked at the Dark One, but merely moved to stand a bit closer to the blonde. Over her shoulder, he watched as Arista gently caressed the petals with her fingertips. "It's one of the Red Queen's roses."

The imp resisted the urge to groan. Shaking his head, he propped his chin on the ball of his hand and listened as the young man explained the magic behind the flower.

"They paint them red when they're still seeds, but the magic doesn't always take and some of them end up like this one." Jefferson inclined his head toward the rose with a bit of cockiness. "Admittedly, they can be a bit hard to come by... they're illegal in Wonderland."

His employer chuckled darkly. "Keep stealing from the Queen and you'll end up without a head, Hatter."

Arista tilted her head, but didn't lift her gaze from the rose. "Why would a Queen go through much trouble for a flower?"

"The Red Queen is what we in the human world call a _tyrant_, my dear." Rumplestiltskin stood from his chair with a flourish. "If she can find a way to control something, even something as trivial and small as shrubbery, she will."

"Sounds like my father," the mermaid remarked with a hint of bitterness. Still, her gaze didn't leave the rose's unique petals as she caressed one of them with a careful thumb.

A bit smugly, the Dark One crossed his arms and glanced between the two. "Now, the real question is, why might a man give a young woman a flower?"

Jefferson glared at him as Arista looked curiously to the imp.

"Hm…" Rumplestiltskin tapped his chin with a sickly finger. "Why might that be? Jefferson, perhaps you'd like to do the honors of enlightening our little mermaid to the customs of human courtship?"

"Courtship?!" Arista squeaked with dread. Eyes snapping up to the portal jumper's flushing face, she hissed at him, "I thought we were friends!"

"Men can give women flowers for plenty of reasons, Arista." The Hatter gave the hem of his vest a quick tug to straighten it. "I simply saw something that reminded me of you and thought you might like it."

The woman blushed faintly and it only darkened when Rumplestiltskin let out a loud cackle. The imp pointed vaguely in Jefferson direction as he teased, "Because men so often compare women to flowers when they're not romantically inclined!"

Frustrated by the embarrassment that played on Arista's features, Jefferson glared at the Dark One. His jaw twitched with annoyance as he moved a bit closer to the blonde. With their hips gently brushing together, he told the shorter man, "It's one species on the inside and another on the outside, how is that _not_ like her?"

Arista blinked, considering the comparison, before looking up at him. With a nod, she quietly said, "Thank you for the gift, Jefferson."

He offered her a limp smile. The maiden's gaze had been somber and her tone somewhat desponded and the Hatter felt a pang of sadness. "I'm glad you like it, Arista."

"Yes, yes, we're all thrilled!" Rumplestiltskin cut in, impatiently motioning with his hands. "Now, if you're done with your inane attempts at flirting, we do have business to attend to."

"Of course!" Jefferson shook off his annoyance and shot the blonde a wink before pulling out a long bundle of thick, silvery thread.

Rumplestiltskin took it with greedy hands. Unspooling it, he inspected the weighty string with a grin. "Splendid."

Jefferson leaned over the desk curiously. "What'd you want it for anyway? I mean, the Caterpillars aren't exactly the most magic of creatures. Unless being able to smoke a hookah while being cryptic is considered magic now."

"He's more unique than you think." The imp smirked. When he noticed that his assistant was still fretting over her flower, he snapped, "Arista; you've been dismissed."

The blonde blinked with a blush. "Of course. My apologies, sir."

She offered Jefferson a light pat on the chest, but passed him by without comment. The young man watched her go with a wide smile, enjoying the light swish of her dark blue skirt around her bare feet. As the door closed, he looked back at the Dark One, who looked woefully unimpressed. Clearing his throat, Jefferson fiddled with the brim his hat. "Well, if we're through here, I believe there's the subject of my payment?"

"Your payment?" Rumplestiltskin echoed mockingly. Flicking his fingers out, he threw the young man crossed the room. His hat fell to the ground as the portal jumper's back slammed against the bookcase. With Jefferson pinned, the imp pushed off from his desk. "Now, don't you think there's the much more interesting subject of your disrespect?"

"Disrespect?" Jefferson squeaked with an anxious chuckle. "What disrespect? I was merely giving the lady of the house a gift."

The Dark One frowned at him. Completely indifferent and completely _done _with the portal jumper's boldness, he asked, "Is that really the angle you want to play here, Hatter? _Naïve?"_

When the boy merely swallowed, Rumplestiltskin sighed with disappointment. "Very well, Hatter. I'll speak plainly; whatever you're planning for my little mermaid, stop. Put her out of your mind completely because if you don't…"

Jefferson gasped as his employer calmly reached into his chest and pulled out his heart. Gaping at the sight of it pulsing in the man's hand, his features contorted in pain as Rumplestiltskin gave it an experimental squeeze.

"I'll make sure there's nothing left of it to break." The Dark One peered down at the portal jumper with a mix of pity and disgust. "Is that understood, Jefferson?"

Nodding frantically, a cry slipped from the Hatter's lips as the heart was heedlessly shoved back into his chest cavity.

"Good." Rumplestiltskin gave the young man's aching chest a consoling, condescending pat. "Now get out of my sight."

Jefferson needn't be told twice. With a shaky hand, he picked up his hat and flicked out his wrist. The portal opened and he leapt into it, desperate to be away from someone he had once considered a friend.

Upstairs, Arista sat cross legged on her bed. Thumbing at the rose's petals, she thought over the young man's words; thought over how he thought of her as one species on the inside and another on the outside. She supposed Jefferson was right, but she had never considered it that way. She had always been, and would always be, a mermaid; even if she was wearing legs. All of her attempts at assimilating into human culture had failed her. Not because from lack of trying, but lack of exposure and the maiden felt animosity swell in her.

Leaning back against the bed frame, she peered down at the flower in her hands. While she couldn't say that she was attracted to him, Arista was certainly beginning to feel _something_ for the persistent Hatter. A smile pulled at the corner of her mouth and she tentatively rested the rose against her chest.

"You're not attracted to him because he gave you a flower, are you, dearie?"

The blonde startled at the sound of her master's voice. Blushing, she laughed. "No. No, that's silly. It's just nice to be thought of, I suppose."

Rumplestiltskin hummed. Sauntering toward her, he took her chin with two fingers. Tilting her gaze up to his, he bent over and squinted at her in a manner she found incredibly patronizing. "Now, don't you go falling in love with that boy, Arista. You're much too smart for that."

"Yes, Mr. Rumplestiltskin." The maiden dropped her eyes down to the flower once more.

"Besides, what would your father say if he knew you were courting a thief?"

Batting her eyelashes innocently, she asked, "What's a thief?"

The Dark one pointed a stern finger at her. "Don't change the subject."

"We're friends, that's all." Arista swirled a finger around the edge of one of the petals. "I've already told him humans aren't for me."

"Quite a blow to a young man's ego to be sure!" Rumplestiltskin cackled. "Tell me, how'd he react to such an affront to his manhood?"

Arista smirked, recalling how the Hatter had pressed his lips to her hand and peered up at her with respect and warmth. "Quite well."

The man pursed his lips with distaste. "I should say so, if he's giving you flowers."

"_Flower_," The mermaid corrected. Holding it up by the stem, Arista told him, "Just one. Just this once."

Her employer smirked knowingly at her. "We'll see about that." If she did find herself straying toward the Hatter, Rumplestiltskin supposed he could always put her heart in a box. As a last resort, of course. It didn't appeal to him to have a shade of the little mermaid for a servant. Where would the fun in that be?

Arista frowned, but stayed silent as he gave her knee a pat.

"Get some rest, dearie." Standing, Rumplestiltskin took the rose from her and placed it on the bedside table. "And do try to put the boy from your mind, hm?"

"Yes, sir." The blonde nodded.

The moment he was out of sight, Arista picked the flower back up and smiled to herself.

**A/N: Shout out to my wonderful beta, _UnsightlyDreams_!**


End file.
